Ask the Experts: Rocking the Ages

By Andrew Rapp | Boston Weddings |

Q: I’m in my 20s, and the music that will make my friends get up and dance at my reception will traumatize my grandparents. What’s the best way to please everyone’s ears?

A: Fortunately for younger music fans, advanced years usually means early bedtimes. Your older guests won’t resist being chased off the dance floor by bumping and grinding bridesmaids. In fact, they’ll expect to make themselves scarce once the partying picks up. There’s no fixed curfew for the elders, but most receptions kick up the dance music when the dining is done.


Q: I’m in my 20s, and the music that will make my friends get up and dance at my reception will traumatize my grandparents. What’s the best way to please everyone’s ears?

A: Fortunately for younger music fans, advanced years usually means early bedtimes. Your older guests won’t resist being chased off the dance floor by bumping and grinding bridesmaids. In fact, they’ll expect to make themselves scarce once the partying picks up. There’s no fixed curfew for the elders, but most receptions kick up the dance music when the dining is done.

Before then, you don’t have to suffer through oldies just to make Grandma happy. Linnea Tangorra, principal of Tangorra Wedding Planning in Newburyport, suggests dedicating your grandparents’ or parents’ wedding song to them early in the evening. Besides being a thoughtful gesture, Tangorra says younger guests are usually inspired by the older couples and shortly join them on the floor.

If you have particular concerns about song choices, Sherri Sadowski, owner of Worchester’s Sassy Soirées, suggests giving the entertainers some definite “don’ts.” With so many choices available, says Sadowski, “it’s easier to walk in and say ‘here are the songs I don’t want to hear.’”

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Q: I’m planning a destination wedding, and most of our guests will be flying there. Am I expected to handle their logistics (finding a hotel, getting to the church, etc.), or can I leave this planning to them?

A: “I absolutely think that you need to give them logistics,” says Leslie Barbini, owner of The Wedding Belle in Nottingham, New Hampshire.

Besides being courteous, it sends a grateful message: “Thank you for flying all the way here for me. Let me make this easier for you,” Barbini says.

Put all the info in one place: “One of the best ways to do that is to set up your own wedding website,” says Sherri Sadowski, owner of Sassy Soirées in Worcester. “It’s just a great way to keep in touch with everybody.”

Courtesy aside, planners say the headaches caused by cranky, disoriented guests make the extra planning worth the effort. Donna Kim, owner of The Perfect Details in Concord, says providing maps or even shuttles will help eliminate one of the two leading causes of guest disgruntlement: “People will complain if they got lost or if they went hungry,” she says.