The Standup Mad Lib

Dozens of comedians from around the country just flew into Boston, and boy, are their arms tired. That’s right, it’s time for the 10th annual Boston Comedy Festival (11/5-11/13). As a warmup for the fest’s standup competition, we asked the participants to finish this sentence: The best way to make it in Boston is…

…try and get in Abigail Johnson’s pants. -Ophira Eisenberg

…As I understand it, you need a Native American headdress and a hatred of "taxation without representation." You also must enjoy wasting perfectly good tea. -Erik Allen

…be a white dude. -Bethany Van Delft

…move to New York. -Raj Sivaraman

…repeatedly yell, "Yankees suck!" This is also known to work in Alabama. -Andrea Henry

…direct films about tracksuit-wearing armed robbers from Charlestown and cast yourself as the hero. -Leah Dubie