The Big Digs
31. He was just against gay fellas. Senator Scott Brown opposes the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
32. He left his liberal principles in his other yacht. Senator John Kerry is accused of trying to avoid $500,000 in Massachusetts taxes by docking his new $7 million yacht in Rhode Island, which does not tax boats.
33. Butt injections imply something else entirely where he’s likely headed. Roger Clemens is indicted for making false statements to Congress regarding steroids.
34. Putting the W in WTF. Six months after its splashy October 2009 opening, the W Boston sells fewer than 12 of its 122 luxury condos, declares bankruptcy, and leaves its $10.5 million loan from the city dangling — alongside an impending foreclosure.
35. Yeah, because Alaska voters would never put up with an attractive but inexperienced and sometimes fumbling candidate. Criticizing our new senator for voting on occasion with Democrats, Sarah Palin says that Alaska voters wouldn’t put up with “Scott Brown and some of the antics there.”
36. Wanna get away? Brookline police catch an alleged bank robber after they find him hiding in his car’s trunk.
37. To celebrate, school officials made it rain. The $200 million Newton North High School finally opens.
38. New plan: Drop all the other drugs, keep the Ritalin. Steven Tyler’s year: He refuses to join Aerosmith on tour. Then when bandmates threaten to replace him, he rejoins the band. At one tour stop, he falls off the stage (again). When he recovers, he says he’d like to make a new album. But first, he signs on as an American Idol judge.
39. Apparently that “New Boston” he talked so much about is in Virginia. Sam Yoon, the 2009 candidate for mayor of Boston, flees south, saying he’s had trouble finding a job here.
40. So this explains why he kept asking the caterer if he had any chicken fingers and Cherry Garcia. A Brockton wedding photographer is pinched by cops, who say he was attempting to pick up 700 pounds of pot. He pleaded not guilty, dude.