Feature Article

Double Trouble

Massachusetts has the highest rate of twin births in the nation. In and around Boston, it feels more like an epidemic. Which has this proud and very, very tired mother of twins wondering: is this a good thing—for anyone?

By Julie Suratt

Photos by Carol Kaplan.

Page 1 of 2

Cathy Gruetzke-Blais knew her identical twins were a flight risk. At two years old, neither would sit in a shopping cart for more than a few minutes before trying to climb over the side and make a break for it. So on a trip to her local Target one spring day, the desperate Framingham mother strapped a tiny blue harness around each girl's shoulders, then clipped a leash to their backs, convinced the contraption would thwart any escape attempts.

Wrong: As they approached the checkout aisle, Isabelle wriggled free of her mother's grasp and sprinted away, leash and all. Knowing that she'd never catch her while also wrangling Allison and the shopping cart, Gruetzke-Blais tied Allison to the cart and gave chase. But when she returned with her fugitive in tow, Allison was gone.

Gruetzke-Blais soon discovered that her daughter had wandered down the aisle, dragging the cart behind her, and fallen down. She was lying on the floor—still attached to the leash—surrounded by gawking shoppers. "Here was this baby tied to a shopping cart like a sled dog," recalls Gruetzke-Blais, who quickly scooped up her child, apologized, and paid for her purchases. The kids were fine, but when she finally had them safely in the car, she burst into tears, realizing (not for the first time) that with twins, nothing comes easy.

It's an awareness no doubt shared by the 30,000 mothers around Massachusetts who have given birth to twins in the past decade. These are the women who have helped make ours the state with the highest rate of twins in the nation: more than 40 per 1,000 births—a whopping 34 percent above the U.S. average. The trend seems particularly concentrated in and around Boston, which will come as no surprise to those of you who have been run off the sidewalk by one of those SUV-size double-wide strollers now so ubiquitous on Newbury Street; or tried to enroll your child in a preschool class only to find many of the slots already claimed by twins; or heard tales about overcrowded neonatal units at area hospitals, where underweight twin newborns are tended to for weeks, sometimes months.

Indeed, twins have become so commonplace that one can easily overlook how hard it is to raise two babies at the same time. But for me—well, suffice it to say this reality has been impossible to ignore. In February 2006, I gave birth to fraternal twin boys. And two years into my own towheaded family invasion, I have to wonder if this deluge of doubles is a good thing for their parents—or for our area as a whole. I adore my boys and wouldn't trade them for the world. But I would no more wish multiples on a couple than I would bubonic plague.


So what accounts for Boston's status as the new Twin City? Is it that our residents are especially fertile? Not exactly. The truth is, we're just especially well insured. In 1987, Massachusetts became one of the first states to require carriers to cover the cost of infertility treatments for otherwise healthy couples. While a dozen states now offer some kind of fertility coverage, the laws here remain among the most comprehensive in the nation.

One of the best-known treatments for infertility is in vitro fertilization (IVF), in which a woman's eggs are extracted, fertilized with sperm, and then transferred back to her uterus. The more embryos transferred, the more likely a woman will become pregnant—and pregnant with multiples: The odds of conceiving twins through IVF are 29 percent, compared with just 2 percent for naturally occurring twins. It stands to reason if insurance companies cover this costly procedure, which can run $12,000 or more per cycle, more women will take advantage of it. And they do. Among all states, Massachusetts has the highest rate of use of assisted reproductive technology.

Another significant factor: Massachusetts has the highest average age of first-time mothers (28), and since 1996, the majority of babies here have been born to women age 30 and older. Such women are more likely to release multiple eggs during ovulation, resulting in twins. I fall into this category, although apparently there are twins way back in my family history (information that would have been helpful to know before my first ultrasound, Grandma!). I was 33 years old when Emmett and Phineas were born at 35 weeks, just two weeks shy of what doctors consider full term.

Their early arrival was not unusual. More than half of twins are born prematurely and at a low birth weight, which puts them at risk for everything from breathing difficulties to underdeveloped organs. Consequently, many local neonatal intensive care units (NICUs) are overburdened. When our twins were born at Beth Israel, the NICU had room for only one of the boys—talk about Sophie's choice. Since Emmett was deemed the healthier of the two, Finn was whisked upstairs to the NICU; three days later, they swapped places when Emmett physically shut down, refusing to eat because he was overwhelmed by all the activity.


 

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Just a comment
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 3, 2008 at 4:58 PM
COMMENT:
I undertand that this article is about over utilizing fertility options, however everything you say about having twins is negative. I know it's hard (I have 2 sets myself- natural), but the benefits are wonderful. Not once have I wished for anything different. Maybe you should petition to get fertility treatments taken off of health care coverage if having so many sets of twins is such a negative impact in your area.
You are very negative
Posted by Nicole | Jun. 3, 2008 at 5:39 PM
COMMENT:
I hope your boys don't grow up and read how their mother feels about them. I could never in a million years ever feel like my twins are a burdin in my life or that if one didn't make it my life could be normal. There are others out there that feel like their twins are a blessing MINE ARE EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE.
Appalling!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 3, 2008 at 6:14 PM
COMMENT:
I was appalled to read parts of your article, most notably the line about thinking your life would be more normal if one of your babies didn't survive. You call it post partum depression; I call it disgusting. I, too, experienced all of the trials and tribulations of a twin pregnancy and delivery, as well as the dreaded newborn phase. Although times can be difficult, I would not trade any of it, from the unfathomable sleep deprivation to the nearly insurmountable breastfeeding struggles, for the world. If you wanted easy, you shouldn't have had any children. I can remember being so afraid, more scared than I had ever been in my life, that one of my babies might not survive. It is a natural motherly instinct to protect your children. There is nothing natural, however, about a twin mother feeling so glim about what should be the two most precious gifts of her life. I am sorry that your twins are such a burden to you and to your home state of Massachusetts.
Interesting viewpoint, but not representing that of other MOTs
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 4, 2008 at 11:11 AM
COMMENT:
What this article did not touch on: Being a MOT (mother of a twin) means you need to be organized, patient, loving and creative. You need to be flexible and have a sense of humor. You need a support network: family, friends, paid caregivers, volunteers, etc. The WSCMMOTA, mentioned briefly, is a wonderful resource/support network. What else was missing from this article? That as a MOT, each day I get twice the hugs, the kisses, the smiles, and then there is the joy of knowing that my boys will go through life having a best friend to share their experiences.
Thank you
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 5, 2008 at 8:57 AM
COMMENT:
I truly appreciate your honesty & want to thank you for bringing up many issues. It is important for people to know just how difficult it can be raising twins. This can be overlooked when all someone cares about is having a child. It takes a strong person to share their feelings. There are also many joys to having twins, which you do touch on, but that is not the point of this article.
Those who live in glass houses...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 5, 2008 at 7:29 PM
COMMENT:
Being a first-time mother of twins myself, I relate to the every day logistical, physical and emotional challenges of caring for two infants/toddlers; but I have to say when I see moms with kids of different ages juggling schedules, activities, meals, etc., I feel we twin moms have it made. Ok, it’s painfully clear that the people making harsh comments about your dark admission don’t really “get” what post partum depression is. Those feelings are not due to a lack of love or natural mothering instincts; they were a result of a hormonal/medical condition that caused deep depression. The fact is, you recognized the symptoms, and got help, that is a testament to your strength and commitment to your family. And by the way, even those of us who have not suffered from clinical depression have thought or worse yet, done something we would not be proud to admit. Finally, I attended a great lecture recently and was reminded to take the “take care of yourself” part very seriously. Get the
Great article
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 6, 2008 at 3:13 PM
COMMENT:
The article penned by this author is based on opinion (the societal effects of fertility treatment) and fact (her personal experience in raising twins). To suggest either of which is invalid is both distressing and ignorant. Furthermore it took a lot of courage and raw self-analysis to write about her postpartum depression. It is because of mothers like this author, that society has begun to recognize that this condition is not taboo which in turn encourages other mothers in similar situations to seek help rather than quietly suffer.
Courageous and important article
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 6, 2008 at 4:17 PM
COMMENT:
Most of what we see and hear is over-the-top enthusiasm about assisted reproduction. This article will help with the kind of thoughtfulness and balance we so urgently need.
Sorry?
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 7, 2008 at 8:23 AM
COMMENT:
I have 18 month old identical twin girls. Is it hard? Of course. But from what I gather, having a singleton isn't always easy either. And to be honest I take offense at your off-the-cuff remarks about double strollers taking over the sidewalks and twins "claiming" all the preschool class seats. Kids deserve a walk on the street or the chance to go to preschool no matter how many siblings they shared a uterus with. But most of all, I'm sad that you can't seem to see what an immense miracle twins can be, despite the logistical, physical, and emotional challenges that may come along with them. And shame on you for chastising couples who have to go the fertility treatment route to be able to have a baby (or babies). At least in those multiple-birth cases, the parents see the miracle they can be... something that seems to have passed you by, unfortunately.
Wow
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 7, 2008 at 8:10 AM
COMMENT:
I agree - raising twins is hard my two are challenging as well - and often run off in different directions too, but this article is depressing. I sincerely hope that her kids never read this...
Be thankful
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 7, 2008 at 9:19 PM
COMMENT:
Coming from someone who never got a successful IVF, I have to say that you have no idea how lucky you are. We ended up adopting twins, after saying we were specifically interested in twins - after worrying for 5 years that we would never be parents, I could not be happier today! And coming from a state that doesn't cover IVF, we've spent way way more than those $15,000 you claim to have spent on baby gear just to get our babies... I hope all the women who never had an IVF work never read this article.
I'm sorry you feel that way
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 9, 2008 at 7:42 AM
COMMENT:
While you raise some very interesting points, I am sad about the overall negative tone of the article. As a MOT, I finished the article and felt badly for being so happy with my own twin experiences. My twin pregnancy was a complete shock. Identical boys - no history of twins in the family, no IVF. I was terrified of how I would manage but the experience has made me a more confident, more organized, more sastisfied parent than I ever was with just my singleton. Would I caution anyone who says they want twins that it's not all fun and games? Yes. But I I think the negative tone in this article is unfair and doesn't shine enough light on how many of us are thrilled with our experiences as being MOTs.
feel bad for you
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 9, 2008 at 8:45 AM
COMMENT:
I feel bad for you, and for your kids, since it is possible that one day they will read your article and your subjective, negative and, at times, disturbing points of view on having twins. I am sorry that you are unable to enjoy your and other's children, and, judging by entirely negative examples quoted in your article, that you seem to gravitate towards other parents in the same predicament. Raising children, twins or not, brings along many joys and inevitable challenges. If you interview parents of different-age children, they will also tell you about difficulties in managing more than one kid in public spaces. If you look closer at who is sitting in those double strollers you loath so much, you will see that many of them are filled with siblings of different ages. If you enter a daycare or school, most children are not twins. What is the reason that twins disturb you so much? What about triplets, or quadruplets? Perhaps you are disturbed by children, and parenthood, in gener
Hmmm
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 9, 2008 at 12:01 PM
COMMENT:
You do seem extremely anti-twin, which is surprising given that you have a set. Mine are 17 months old and while it has never been easy, it certainly doesn't equate to the "bubonic plague" - that's just ridiculous. And your attitude towards IVF and other fertility treatments is offensive to those of us who had no other choice. Yes, I agree that multiple births should not be the goal of an IVF or IUI cycle, but science is far from perfect. A single embryo can split into identical twins; several embryos can result in a failed cycle. As the previous comment so movingly stated, having twins is a far better outcome than having no children at all. You should count your blessings (2 to be exact) and realize that the occasional shoe-shopping debacle is really not that bad after all.
Points Missed - Great Article
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 9, 2008 at 12:44 PM
COMMENT:
After reading all the comments posted on this artlicle, I feel like many have missed the point, which as far as I can see has nothing to do with whether or not the author loves her children (which I'm sure she does) or "chastising" people who undergo fertility treatments -- (everyone deserves to have a child or children and I don't think that's in dispute). The rate of twin births is 34% above the US average in MA. That's incredible. The impact all those twin births have on the families that have them, society, the medical community and let's not forget the twins themselves shouldn't be overlooked. If there is a way for infertile couples to have children at the same success rate without having to have twins well then shame on those doctors for not doing more work in that direction. Yes, science is not perfect, but we trust in our doctors to give us accurate information and lead us in the right directions. If they're preying on infertile couples to make their success rates look be
Re: Points missed
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 9, 2008 at 7:36 PM
COMMENT:
The 34% higher births rate is deceiving - the birth of a set of twins counts twice. And the answer to the commenter's question is: no, there is no way to have the same success rate without subjecting women and their husbands to additional traumatic procedures. As to the author's points about raising twins, she would have had many of the same problems with one. Postpartum depression? Not twin-related. Isolation as a new mother in a new suburb? Not twin-related. Anxiety about getting into the right pre-school? Not twin-related. Kids running off in two directions? Yes twin related, but plenty of parents deal with chasing after a toddler while shlepping a newborn.
From a twin's perspective...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 1:16 PM
COMMENT:
What a fascinating article. I'm sorry you had so many negative feelings around the birth (and raising) your set of twins. I'm a 37 year old twin and I gave birth to (spontaneous) triplets 5 months ago. My twin sister had a set of spontaneous twins herself 10 years ago (We're a VERY fertile family!). When we were born we were our parents 4th pregnancy in 3 years.. They only found out about us being twins about 8 days before we were even born! Imagine! Amazing today how much smaller families have gotten (and homes are so much larger... I digress) and yet multiples have increased exponentially. Being a twin is a gift! I hope my kids say the same of being a triplet! (We also have a 2-year old singleton.) I definitely think the whole twin/triplet/multiple thing is as much drama as you make it with regards to the work load, chaos, logistics, etc. (Expensive yes.. But we have been completely overwhelmed with people's generosity in this department!) Our boy, boy, girl trio came home wit
200 words? Not enough...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 2:05 PM
COMMENT:
trio came home with us 4 days after birth and we haven't looked back - we've been out and about constantly (planes, trains, automobiles, joggers, strollers, etc.) since then! We run in to so many negative people... I could go on and on about all the HORRIBLE things that have been said to me. But every once in awhile I get someone who actually further inspires me with their enthusiasm over OUR gang. My favorite part of all this is the 7-month vacation I have gotten from work (I work for a VERY generous company.)! And truly this is a VACATION compared to having to work full-time AND be a mom (at least in my view). In any case, I have been somewhat frustrated with Mass health insurance lately... but from a different perspective. I am trying to argue my needing some surgery to repair my abdomen (VERY torn, stretched and SAGGING from carrying 3 six pound babies for 36 weeks) as being any less 'elective' than fertility treatments. Why is the repair of this any less a part of the pre
Still going...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 2:08 PM
COMMENT:
pregnancy than fertility that my premiums pay for?? Makes no sense to me. But I'm not done arguing. :)
You do a disservice...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 12:31 PM
COMMENT:
As an extremely blessed mother of triplets, your article is unfortunate. I was trying to be non-judgmental until I got to the “bubonic plague” comment. Nice. You would rather someone get a deadly plague than experience the miracle of twins, twins like your own. Wow. And thanks for making my children the burden of the State, like I didn’t have a hard enough time walking in public with my monster-stroller. If you think my children are a potential burden to insurance companies, etc., you should consider the price many pay to become parents… tests, exams, surgeries and procedures, losses, burials, and counseling. Insurance got off easy, believe me. But, perhaps it should have been the right of insurance companies or the State to tell me to reduce my pregnancy so we wouldn’t burden the tax payers or overfill the schools? What about all the medically involved singletons out there who are “burdening” the tax payers? Perhaps if all of us women put our education and careers on hold to
Disservice... last lines...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 2:48 PM
COMMENT:
Perhaps if all of us women put our education and careers on hold to have babies when our bodies were best equipped biologically for healthy pregnancies (in our early teens), that would solve everything? Give me a break. You’ve done a disservice for multiples everywhere.
More from disservice...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 2:48 PM
COMMENT:
Perhaps if all of us women put our education and careers on hold to have babies when our bodies were best equipped biologically for healthy pregnancies (in our early teens), that would solve everything? Give me a break. You’ve done a disservice for multiples everywhere.
Amazing--
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 4:40 PM
COMMENT:
Not being from MA & not having insurance to pay for fertility we conceived our first son with clomid then after 5 yrs of trying to conceive again we chose to go to Canada due to the cost. After one unsucessful attempt and 22 lost embryos we finally conceived on the second attempt. We were blessed with three beautiful babies. I developed a heart condition a wk after birth and almost lost my life-thankfully we had awesome friends, family, and community to help us. After reading this article I can't even imagine writing something so negative and sad about my children. I did not suffer from PPD but I can only hope your children don't read this article. As a multiple family we struggle EVERY DAY to survive financially and emotionally but thankfully again we have friends, family, multiple groups and eachother to help us. Yes, my life is hard but I can't imagine changing it for anything. We love our children very much!!!! I hope in time you figure out how much your family means to you!
---TO--Cathy Gruetzke-Blais
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 5:18 PM
COMMENT:
Cathy, I feel for you so much! I'm so sorry that the associates at Target didn't help you or even any humans around you didn't help. I remember the first time I used the harnesses someone said something to me and I was mortified! I asked the person if she thought she could do her shopping with three two year olds and trust that they wouldn't get away or someone psycho wouldn't steal them, that shut her up. Some days I would just like to sock those people that comment about how we handle our kids. Those are the ones that don't have multiples! Don't get me wrong we do have stressful days but the hugs, kisses, and most of all the accomplishments I see in my children every day are what makes it so worth it!! Hang in there Cathy you can do it! MOM +4
Gee thanks
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 9:27 PM
COMMENT:
As a fellow MOT of MA, I have a hard time relating to your article and am somewhat offended. In the article, there was no mention of people like myself who gave birth to twins at 40 weeks, and both of my boys were over 7 pounds. I live in MA. My sons were bigger than some of the singletons born that day! There were no complications, during the pregnancy, I was putting out my trash the day I delivered, and there were no complications during delivery. I know of many other MOT in Mass who also had twin babies who were over 6 pounds each at birth. As a MOT, I am surprised by total strangers who ask very personal questions: “Did you use fertility treatments?” Are they interested in knowing if I had sex with my husband? The question that irritates me the most is “Which twin is the good one and which one is the bad one?” They are both good. Now after your article, I can expect yet another personal question from a total stranger: “How much of a burden are your children on ou
Gee thanks - continued
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 10, 2008 at 9:49 PM
COMMENT:
Here is the rest of my post: “How much of a burden are your children on our healthcare system?” Gee thanks.
I have Triplets and I am loving it
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 11, 2008 at 7:07 AM
COMMENT:
As a mother of a single child and then triplets, I am loving my experience with multiple children. It is a blessing. And I feel blessed that I have family and friends that help me and support me. While we get a lot of attention, we have gotten so much help. And while I was nervous to have Triplets, I really feel it is not as bad as I thought it would be. I will admit, I don't take my children shopping but neither do any of my friends with 2 or more children. Also why is it bad to cover fertility? We cover viagra too. While MA does have a higher rate of twin pregnancies we have one of the lowest rates of higher order pregnancies because we have fertiltity coverage.
What a shameful article
Posted by Veronique | Jun. 11, 2008 at 7:43 AM
COMMENT:
This article had me so enraged! Being a parent is hard, multiples or not…but it is also the most rewarding, soul expanding experience in the whole world. How dare this woman compare having twins to the bubonic plague! And the sad thing is that there was not even a hint of humor in her tone…She must obviously have been going through a very serious case of post partum depression after the birth of her children to even think some of the things she wrote about (like wishing that one of her boys would not make it…), and that is a pretty awful thing to have to go through…but it seems to be that she is still suffering of some serious form of depression for writing the way she does. The ONLY positive thing she says in that terrible rant of hers about her own children is “I adore my boys and wouldn't trade them for the world”…I happen to wonder if she truly means it. I have just about had enough of people like her who see multiples as a drain on their families and on society. I have ju
Shameful article part 2
Posted by Veronique | Jun. 11, 2008 at 8:05 AM
COMMENT:
I have just about had enough of people like her who see multiples as a drain on their families and on society. I have just about had enough of total strangers in the street who comment as I proudly walk by with my little boys and say things like “rather you than me” or “you poor woman”…I feel sad for her, sad that she cannot see and enjoy the pure miracle that was bestowed on her family, and mostly I feel sad for her children who one day will get to read their mother’s article.
Quit your whining!!!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 11, 2008 at 8:06 AM
COMMENT:
As a mother of triplets, I must say Quit Whining!!!! I have never complained this much and I have one more than you do. And I didn't "have" to be put on medication to function. I somewhat understand your point about fertility treatments and risk of prematurity; however, overcrowding preschool? Besides, what's the difference to you if I have 3 kids at one time or have 3 separate pregnancies and end up with 3 kids anyway. There was no mention of benefits of having multiples at all in this article. I'm not saying it's easy but I why be so negative. You take what life gives you and you make the best out of it. There are far worse things that could happen to you.....like maybe losing a child.
So you're not cut out for this line of work...
Posted by D | Jun. 11, 2008 at 8:07 AM
COMMENT:
You’re obviously not up to the task of raising twins, which is ok, but generalizing that everybody else is not up to the task is your mistake as it only serves to point out your own weakness. If you were attempting humor with some of your descriptions, you missed the boat, as timing and context is everything darling. Our 2.5 year old boys would never behave in the ways you describe. I’m proud to say that my wife or I can handle our boys in public by ourselves with little difficulty because we treat them like the little people they are. Respectfully.. with loads of communication. The birth rate and burden on the system is an interesting point which might be worthy of debate, but it’s a pity how your article drifts around without making a solid point on the subject and generally just comes off negative re: twins. I recommend you change your meds before writing about your kids again. Doug H. (Father of twins)
Shame on you for feeling your children are a burden. Then blaming it on society and the medical field.
Posted by Cindy | Jun. 11, 2008 at 8:38 AM
COMMENT:
I have a singleton, stepkids and twins. They all have their challenges. Life is fabulous! Twins came last. I did not have fertility. I was blessed at 37 with my twins. Shame on you for feeling they are a burden rather than a gift.
oh my
Posted by Lissa | Jun. 11, 2008 at 10:01 AM
COMMENT:
As somebody who by the grace of God avoided IVF recently, I can absolutely see why docs aren't jumping on the single-embryo-transfer bandwagon. IVF is insanely expensive. And MA's insurance mandate comes with a lot of red tape and caveats. You generally have to prove you're infertile before they'll cover it--for lesbians like yours truly, that generally means a year of doctor-assisted artificial insemination, at $1000+ per cycle out of pocket. If you change insurances in the middle of that year, they can make you start over. They can put limits on coverage--my insurance, Blue Cross/Blue Shield through MIT, only covers $5K worth of fertility coverage, which is a joke. Faced with spending $10K a month on IVF with the odds of success getting worse over time, I'd probably have been tempted to get the most, er, bang for my buck--which means transferring multiple embryos. If fertility coverage was MORE available, and less of a consummate pain in the ass to obtain, could docs/patients be
damn you, comment truncator
Posted by Lissa | Jun. 11, 2008 at 10:36 AM
COMMENT:
If fertility coverage was MORE available, and less of a consummate pain in the ass to obtain, could docs/patients be persuaded to do more single-embryo transfers? I suspect that's the case. And that would probably be a good thing for parents as well as the state.
We're not burdening the Commonwealth of MA anymore
Posted by Kelly | Jun. 11, 2008 at 12:08 PM
COMMENT:
Wow. I guess you all in MA can breathe a sigh of relief that at least one set of twins has left the state and isn't burdening your precious resources anymore. We are now in MD, taking up space in preschool, and down the street in our double stroller. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your life, author of the article. Like someone pointed out, most of your points were not related to having twins.
Your Poor Kids!
Posted by lieba | Jun. 11, 2008 at 1:35 PM
COMMENT:
I cannot imagine your children reading this,or anyone who has struggled to have a child. Yes, it's hard, toughest job you'll ever love, raising twins is not for the faint-hearted - but the 'bubonic plague!' wishing you had lost one of them?? Post-partum anxiety, depression, you bet, hormones out of control and sleep deprivation, nursing -to be sure it's very difficult. For us the struggle has only deepened our commitment and expanded our love for our twins and each other. I think you meant to expose the challenges, but you sound miserable and have done yourself, your kids, and moms a disservice with this article.
What a shame
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 11, 2008 at 2:45 PM
COMMENT:
You make some serious mistakes in this article. Portraying multiples in such a negative light without any consideration for the other side of the coin is unfair, and just poor writing. As a mom of healthy, spontaneously conceived triplets, I know a side of this situation you obviously do not. I had a healthy pregnancy and worked up to 25 weeks, my babies never had any health issues, we didn't have to spend 15,000 on baby gear because we have enough family and friends that wanted to help us out by passing on their children's barely used items. It wasn't all roses, but that's true for anybody, families of singletons or multiples. It's a shame, and very wrong for you to portray having multiples in such a negative light.
What a painful article to read
Posted by Gina | Jun. 11, 2008 at 2:53 PM
COMMENT:
I am appalled at the overall lack of knowledge and understanding you have put into this article. I can't even go into every single point because there are so many and each of them are disturbing on so many levels. The main point that pained me so much I will address was your suggestion that insurance coverage for ART not be mandated in MA. How dare you wish that women who otherwise cannot afford ART should just settle for being childless? I guess you're own feelings of inadequacy as a MOT, and the fact that you did not need ART are the foundations your reasoning. The truth is that if there was a national law mandating comprehensive ART coverage, then people would not be motivated by finances and scant opportunities. As journalist, you should know better than to put something like this out there without doing the proper research. How irresponsible of you!
What?
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 11, 2008 at 3:20 PM
COMMENT:
This is the most offensive article I have ever read. You have no idea how lucky you are to have your babies and reading this, I'm not sure you deserve them. You should be ashamed of yourself and I pray to God that your children never read this. What a slap in the face to them. I am expecting twins, yes I did use fertility treatments and yes I did want twins. I can't wait to meet my babies. They are and forever will be worth everything I ever have to do for them.
News flash!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 11, 2008 at 6:15 PM
COMMENT:
You do not need two of everything! Stop reading those parenting magazines which are nothing but one long advertisement for Babies-R-Us anyway. Amazingly enough, one can sit in a bouncy seat and the other in the swing! One will probably ONLY sleep in the infant car seat anyway, so you can likely get by with just one crib and a pack 'n play for many, many months! I abhor parents who think they need two of every toy or always wear matching outfits. Please! Your children just happen to be regular siblings who incidentaly share the same birthday. And if you ask me what my experice was like: raising same-age siblings is easier than different-aged siblings
Wow.
Posted by Wendy | Jun. 11, 2008 at 10:48 PM
COMMENT:
What a bitter bunch of people you must associate with. The women in my MOT group tend to enjoy parenthood. They're also mature and self-confident enough to not spend their days whining about all the wonderful things they've had to give up for their needy children. Maybe you should have gotten a cat, instead. The only issue you raised that is truly twin-related was deciding whether or not to wake both babies to keep them on the same feeding schedule. PPD sucks -- I've been there, and it's torture; but I think you have some deeper issues, as well. (And since it seems to matter to you, my twins were conceived the "old fashioned way".)
Too bad
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 12:04 AM
COMMENT:
It sounds like you're very bitter towards having twins. You don't realize what a gift you've been given. I look at my twins every day and thank God for what I have. Sure, it's challenging, but I don't regret my decision to put back my only two embryos. I tried for over two years before I was finally blessed with my two miracles. And they were born at 38 weeks, very healthy, no NICU time. Having twins is certainly not equal to the bubonic plague and I only hope your kids never hear you say something like that.
I am shocked
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 4:10 AM
COMMENT:
I also, like many of the other posters am a MOT, and I like many others did use fertility treatments (IVF) to concieve my twins. While I fully understand the overwhelming feelings that come with having two babies at the same time, I would NEVER give this up for the world! My babies were born at 31 weeks and spent 6 weeks and 7 1/2 weeks respectively in the NICU. It was the hardest time in my life. Bringing them home proved to be a trying time (I also suffered from PPD) but how dare you compare twins to a disease like bubonic plague! Never, even when I was exhausted to the point of falling down would I have changed this experience. I really hope your children never read this article...I can't imagine how it would make them feel.
I feel sorry for you
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 10:33 AM
COMMENT:
I am a mother of 2.5yr spontaneous triplets. I was told I could not conceive naturally & my state does not require insurance to pay even a penny of fertility treatments. Because of cost (most MOM's I know spent $20K+ per treatment) it was not a choice. I thought I would never have children of my own. The Dr's were wrong & I became pregnant w/o medical help with not one but 4! I lost one early in my pregnacy & went on to deliver 3 tiny but healthy babies at 31 weeks. 5,6 & 10 weeks in the NICU brought with it severe depression that I denied for 18 months before seaking treatment. Life with multiples is not easy but it's certainly not as hard as you make it out to be with twins. I certainly had struggles & bad days, but to be wishing your baby dies to make your life normal?!?! I hope you are still seeking professional help for your depression issues because it looks like you certainly still need the help.
I'd run too!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 12:06 PM
COMMENT:
no wonder your kids are trying to escape you!
Doesn't reflect how most twin moms feel!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 6:41 PM
COMMENT:
As a mother of twins I wish your story shared the joy twins brought to our lives! All the inconveniences sighted are from a glass half empty, depressing view of the world. What a sad environment those children will be raised in! The parents shouldn't have bothered to have children! Our boys are the light of our lives. We wouldn't imagine complaining about such petty things given the alternative of not having them. The families interviewed were shallow and immature, and not worthy of the gift they were given. As for burdening our healthcare system, please! Crack-addicted moms giving birth to children are a far bigger drain and I can assure you the emotional impact on the children will have a much bigger impact to society in the long term. Most twins are born to families desperate to have and love them! I'd love to see Boston Magazine profile the spirit of life we now enjoy with our twins. I'm sure most in our mothers of multiples group would love to share a more realistic view of how
It's not only preemies that have health issues
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 8:03 PM
COMMENT:
I felt the author missed a vital point in this article. Whether you are pregnant 1, 2 or 5 children at one time, being born at full term is no guarantee that they will be delivered to you healthy. My b/g twins were born at full term, both weighing over 7 lbs. My boy has suffered from severe reflux, respiratory issues, and some gross motor delays. I breathed a sigh of relief when I hit 37 weeks, naively assuming my twins would be okay when they were delivered. It's not only preemies that have health issues. Also, I need to say, to the woman with triplets that is trying to argue abdomen repair surgery is equivalent to fertility treatment. You have NO idea what you are talking about. God blessed you with being fertile enough to have triplets naturally. We aren't all so lucky, and go through hell and back to have our children. Stretched out, sagging skin and discomfort can't remotelycompare with the painful, excruciating long, sometimes humiliating experiences of fertility treatm
horrible
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 8:14 PM
COMMENT:
As a mother of triplets I took great offense to your article. I have 1 set of identical girls and a boy and I love every challenging moment wit them (they're almost 2.5yrs). I work full time, as well as my husband - we are self sufficent - have childcare and pay our fair share in taxes and health insurance premiums. Our children have zero health issues. I can't believe that you felt the need to portray every family with multiples as unhappy and a drain on society - you should be ashamed. I hope your boys never read this article!
Bad editing
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 8:26 PM
COMMENT:
Hmmmm... the author says she used to be the managing editor of this magazine... could that be the reason nobody dared edit out the personal poison? There is so much wrong with this article, it's amazing it's out there.
I think a bit differently about it
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 12, 2008 at 10:26 PM
COMMENT:
It takes a lot of courage to publicize such controversial reflections regarding your own experiences in twin childrearing. I personally have never wished for a singleton only -- like so many responses in this forum, I too am thankful for both of my children every day. I do, however, fantasize on a regular basis about being able to clone myself so I can devote all of my attention to each child individually. My biggest regret ISN'T that I have two children but that there is only one of me ...
a lopsided story
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 13, 2008 at 4:10 AM
COMMENT:
as a parent of a 6 1/2 year old girl and 18 month old twin boys and as a woman who went through many trials of fertility treatment, i can appreciate many parts of this article. however, this article does not represent my life in any way. is it a challenge to get my errands done quickly with my guys in tow? sure, sometimes. but you plan ahead and you make quick errands a part of your regular routine, and they get it. as far as the cost of health care once they are born-- my daughter is the one who, with a congenital medical issue that she will live with forever, has been the recipient of state and town resources.
Sad
Posted by Annemarie | Jun. 14, 2008 at 7:12 AM
COMMENT:
I think you've insulted everyone and every point possible. Why do you think all the challenges of raising a baby/toddler only happen to mother of twins? My daughter cried, never slept on her own, had reflux and was a challenging toddler. Yet, I wouldn't trade her for the world. I know that being a mom is the toughest job in the world. I think you are so negative that you shouldn't be one. And are babies expensive? Yes, that's why they have consignment stores and yard sales!
twin subjects
Posted by Joanne | Jun. 15, 2008 at 6:46 PM
COMMENT:
My husband and I are the parents of four boys ages 5, 3 and 4-month-old twins. Guess that would be the bubonic plague and then some. Ms. Suratt is dealing with two separate issues here: the challenges of raising twins and the consequences to residents living in a state with a high instance of multiple births. If she had valid points on the latter it's difficult to see them through her emotional and overwhelmingly negative views on the former.
Biased, inaccurate, and sad
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 15, 2008 at 7:18 PM
COMMENT:
As a member of the same MOT club as the author I take exception to the negative portrayal of parenting twins. Contrary to the notion that twins are filling up spaces in preschools at the expense of singletons in fact most parents of twins face the uncertainty of whether schools will accept two kids into one age-group when space is tight. As for the City of Newton having, gasp, 122 sets of twins in elementary school, in fact Newton is a large district and has 15 elementary schools with a total of 247 classrooms, and 5,500 kids, so 244 twins is only a little more than 2%. As for the assertion that having twins is sending MOTs to divorce court at a higher rate than other parents, she gives not one fact to back this up. An assertion as charged as this one should have some serious data to back it up.
I feel sorry for the writer
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 15, 2008 at 7:58 PM
COMMENT:
The article reminded me of my first year or two with twins. I could relate to a lot of what the writer is describing, but not so negative. The thing that I found most disturbing is that she doesn’t go into any of the positives. And for many of the negatives of it being hard with two, there are just as many positives because the kids play off of each other, not to mention twice the love. She must be really depressed, if she doesn’t appreciate it. I feel sorry for the writer. Instead of doing something positive for herself, when she was not busy with the kids, she has been dwelling on the negatives for this article. Not good. I realize that she is mostly venting, but she’ll never get out of the funk until she lets go of the negatives. It looks like she needs a break, more babysitting hours and maybe more therapy.
Excellent Article
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 17, 2008 at 8:03 AM
COMMENT:
I thought the article was excellent and very honest. Having just undergone fertility treatment, it brought to light the risks and extra work involved in multiple births. I feel happy and less worried knowing that I'm carrying just one child. With that said, I have nothing against twins, and nor do I doubt that the author very much loves her children.
mom of 9 wk old twins
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 17, 2008 at 8:29 AM
COMMENT:
I actually agee with the author on many fronts -- I was hoping for one, and got two because of the two embryos implanted....My life is REALLY hard right now, and I'm trying to figure out what my "next steps" are -- go back to job, or not, and how me and husband will get through the expenses of our first few years. Right now, he's enjoying the love of fatherhood etc, I'm experiencing the turmoil of having my life turned upside down by two (beautiful, hopefully pperfect) muchkins. Right now its Hell. I'm not asking for pity- but I support the writer 100% -- the essence of her article -- technology and insurance is great, but it does have consequences that ARE Lifelong, and challenging, and its not all fun and games.
Disgusted...
Posted by Amy | Jun. 19, 2008 at 6:45 AM
COMMENT:
As the mother of twins, I am highly offended by this article. Comparing having multiples to suffering from the Bubonic Plague? Seriously? Wow. I just hope your boys never find out the hurtful things you wrote about them in this piece. I feel blessed and honored to be able to raise twins. Witnessing the bond between my identical twin daughters is a gift. True, raising twins isn't always easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Thank you for your honesty...
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 19, 2008 at 1:05 PM
COMMENT:
Thank you for your injection of honesty in reflecting the day-to-day reality for families with multiples. I've tired of the super-family, miracle-baby propaganda spouted by the media. As a mom of sponteously-conceived, identical,full-term, healthy, spunky, outrageous, daring, demanding, challenging, fierce 2yo boys,rock on! I'm not sure how people have mistaken this tone for contempt; she is speaking her truth and the HARD truth about multiple births. Is it possible that her experience is a unique one that is different than your own? Is it possible that her children are different than yours? Rather than condemn, listen. We're all in this together.
Invasion?
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 21, 2008 at 6:58 PM
COMMENT:
You compare having twins to an invasion, and find raising them a worse fate that the Plague? Many people having twins find them to be a blessing (my mom did), and I would give anything to have even one child. Not everyone should be a mom - I hope your husband has different feelings about parenthood.
Double Trouble...I Say Double Blessing!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 24, 2008 at 1:44 PM
COMMENT:
Yes having twins is obviously more work than a singleton but I wouldn't change it for the world! I am an identical twin and God Blessed me with fraternal twins. I always tell people I was doubly blessed. It is amazing how very different opinions people can have. I only agree with one part of this article & that is, it is more challenging for caring for 2 babies & toddlers at the same time. I think it comes down to, as simplistic as this sounds, your attitude about what life has given you. As that famous quote goes "if life hands you lemons make lemonaide". My Mom who had a 4 yr. old, 3 yr. old & twins (8wks. premature)and always tells me your attitiude determines everything in life. The author needs to examine her attitude and outlook on having these twins while they are still young enough so they will be well adjusted later in their life. Bubonic plague!! I wish twins on everyone I meet who is pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant. I want them to experience the same overpowering j
Sorry you feel this way
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 25, 2008 at 7:24 AM
COMMENT:
I almost died as a result of my twin pregnancy, and I too suffered postpartum depression. I don't regret having twins for a second. There are twins on both sides of my family. I didn't think it was a big deal. I see now how hard it is, but everything has just brought me and my husband and our families closer together. Twins are the best thing to ever happen to us. I hope the author's situation improves. Her outlook is extremely negative, and it is unfair and tasteless to call twins an epidemic. Children should not be thought of that way, no matter how they came into this world.
Wow. I feel so bad for you!
Posted by TwinMom | Jun. 28, 2008 at 3:32 PM
COMMENT:
Sorry this is stream of consciousness, no time to edit as I'm about to run out the door with my newly mobile twins to a barbecue with friends. I really wish you were able to find the joy in your twins that I've found in mine. I thank God/the universe nearly every hour of every day for these two precious children. I did face an entire pregnancy on bedrest and experienced nearly every complicaton associated with a multiple pregnancy... and one twin still deals with the severe reflux you describe following their early birth (at 34 weeks, otherwise very healthy children with no issues). I fall into bed each night, and have cried from sheer exhaustion a few times (like any new mother!) But when I sleep, I dream of my son and daughter who were 5+ years in the making, and they are my dreams come true. My husband and I both have to pinch ourselves sometimes and still get a goofy grin, in awe of the fact that we are parents to our two beautiful kids. You are right, twin motherhood is not easy.
Horrible article written by a twin mom!
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 28, 2008 at 5:49 PM
COMMENT:
It saddens me that you have twins. Having twins is truely a double blessing, not like the plaque. Watching them grow together, learn together, and become friends is truly my luck as their Mom. Sure, there are days when things are hard, but things can be hard for a singleton Mom, if they let it be, it is all how you look at it. I spent 17 weeks on bedrest for my twins, and they were born at 33weeks. Neither has any problems, that will interfear with your health care system, but don't worry we have insurance for that. I hope someone prints this and saves it for your kids to read, so they really know how you feel about them. So so sad....
Thank you
Posted by Anonymous | Jul. 4, 2008 at 8:34 PM
COMMENT:
Dear Mother/Father of Twins, I have news for you: This article was _not_ about your experience. Get over yourself. So you have had a great experience. That’s fantastic. Be proud. Feel blessed. You are lucky, and I am jealous. This was not the sugar-coated article about twins you expected. Julie was very brave to share her struggles and I know there are many out there who can relate. She loves her twins! And when they are old enough to read this article they will be proud of Julie and her honesty. Thank you, Julie!
Wow
Posted by Anonymous | Jul. 16, 2008 at 9:59 AM
COMMENT:
I can't overlook the bitterness in your article. It seems that you have never dealt with the trauma of your children's imperfect arrival. Certainly twinning rates have increased due to infertility treatments, however family sizes are decreasing so your concerns on schools over crowding is not solely due to higher twinning rates but growing families. Childcare/ education is the most under valued professions in the country and that is why there aren't enough daycare spots to go around or why classrooms are more full. An overall belief that the school is the only place where your children should be learning and parent disconnection is responsible for increasing special education resources. I also find it interesting that you seem to point the finger at IVF specifically and the embryo transfer rate as to why there are too many twins in your area. People who have IVF don't do as a first line of treatment for infertility, they typically get there after years of trying everything else includ
Wait until your twins are older...
Posted by Anonymous | Aug. 27, 2008 at 3:24 PM
COMMENT:
it gets much easier once they hit 3 years of age. No one can argue the first few years of twin mommyhood are hard. It is. It's also an enormous blessing, esp for someone who went through 5 IVFs and 173 days in a hospital bed to carry our b-g twins (now age 7). It was winning baby lotto. I'm sorry you have such a negative feeling about being a mother of multiples. Even the best reproductive endocrinologists would avoid multiples if possible, since the human body is designed to carry one baby at a time. OTOH, for someone who gets one shot at being a parent at all, getting the 2-for-1 deal is the answer to a prayer. We have a son and a daughter, a possibility beyond our wildest hopes and dreams. No matter how hard it was--and it WAS hard--carrying them, and then caring for them the first couple years (yes, they were preemies and had special needs), I have never for one moment regretted any of it. I adore them, and I am blessed to be their mom. I knew it would be hard. It was har
Terrible!!!
Posted by Diane | Aug. 27, 2008 at 5:30 PM
COMMENT:
On behalf of twin mothers everywhere - you should be embarrassed that this ever went to press. Putting aside all the truly disturbing points you make your entire article is factually inaccurate. Was this article ever fact checked? You wrote "Among all states, Massachusetts has the highest rate of use of assisted reproductive technology". Did you bother going to the cdc website or SART to confirm the stats that you quote? New York has the highest number of ART procedures done annually. Two of the largest and most successful clinics, NYU and Cornell are in NYC. In fact, in 2006 (the most currently available data) there were only 6700 cycles in MA clinics and almost double that, 12,600 in NY. And just to further discount your opinion, NY has no state mandate for IVF coverage - so there goes your theory. Further, Dr. Toth does not have a 60% success rate. his rate is closer to 20% His average number of embryos transferred is more the 2 for woman 35 and older and his rate of twin
Terrible Continued
Posted by Diane | Aug. 27, 2008 at 7:06 PM
COMMENT:
Looks like it got cut off... births is over 25% for woman over 35.The highest in the state. Aside from all of this WRONG information, what I find most disturbing about your article is your blame of PPD on your twin pregnancy. All women are at risk and can suffer with this pain and shame on you for blaming it all on your innocent babies. I wish most of all that any one of the women I know who have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on IVF, mortgaged their homes, liquidated their savings and would do anything to have just one baby to hold could switch places with you.
Challenging, But a Blessing
Posted by Dana | Aug. 28, 2008 at 6:34 AM
COMMENT:
It's hard not to harshly judge this autor/MOM. I am uncertain as to her predicament, but it sounds as though she may have conceived her twins naturally. I beleive, there may be a different viewpoint on fertility/twins when you try to get pregnant month after month without success. I feel blessed everyday that there are so many options for women faced with fertiltiy challenges. And moreover, I feel today as I did the day I found out I was having twins, that I am incredibly blessed. They were worth the wait. It was a perfect pregnancy, full term 38 weeks and both babies weighed well over 6 pounds. I also feel as a mom of twins that I belong to a special club, one that only moms of multiples can understand. This is not to say that it's not incredibly challenging to raise twins. My boys are approaching 1 year and they are so active, they don't sit still for a minute. They often scream incessantly in the grocery store(in unison). There are times they don't want to nap and then are s
Challenging, But a Blessing (Continued)
Posted by Dana | Aug. 28, 2008 at 7:32 AM
COMMENT:
so cranky(crying and whinning). Many nights my husband would come home from work only to find me curled up crying along side of the babies because they wouldn't nap and I was exhausted. But, I wouldn't trade not having the both of them for anything in the world. The experience of being their mom is priceless. I'm certain that far greater challenges lie ahead and I am scared as hell, but I know that the rewards will be immeasurable. So, Moms of multiples count your blessings everyday when you look into those beautiful faces or hear those sweet voices call out your name. And look out, because here we come SUV double stroller and all
Hat's off to MA to support IVF
Posted by Anonymous | Aug. 28, 2008 at 10:29 AM
COMMENT:
One thing you failed to talk about is the change the doctors and the Health Insurances give parents who cannot conceive naturally. Yes, it's tough, it's exhausting to have twins, but all we ever wanted were children. We love every minute of it. Hat's off to all the States who make the Health Insurance cover the fertility treatments. And by the way, if your reproductive organs do not function normally, you are not healthy.
Not Sure
Posted by Anonymous | Aug. 28, 2008 at 4:41 PM
COMMENT:
I understand the gist of your article and the honesty. However, I live in a state that does not cover IVF. We tired for three years to have children. I was 29 when we did our first, and only, IVF. Those four embryo's resulted in my boy/girl twins. I worked, and still do, full time. I didn't have a nanny or my family near me to help. It was hard. I cried, they cried. They didn't sleep (one had severe colic) and I didn't sleep. There weeks, I didn't shower for days and we ate cereal for dinner. Would I trade it for the world? NO WAY! A hospital could save 3 million dollars? Seriously? I think I'd rather see more miracle babies in the world then a hospital's bottom line.
Annoying
Posted by Anonymous | Aug. 30, 2008 at 6:47 PM
COMMENT:
I'm a stay-at-home mother of triplets, and it's funny that what I found most annoying about this "read" was the comments from the mothers of twins that offer up the fact that they are working MOTS as if that makes it harder on them. How hard is it to have two kids and leave them five days a week in someone else's care only to be home for their dinner if you're lucky and maybe to tuck them in at night? Stay at home with your twins or triplets all day every day and then you'll see what hard work is. It's unclear to me if the author is currently a working mom or not, but if she is, not sure what she's complaining about. So she struggles on the weekends and holidays with her kids. Big deal!
4 times the fun!
Posted by Karen | Sep. 20, 2008 at 6:19 PM
COMMENT:
My heart aches for expectant parents who read this article, especially those expecting multiples. My husband and I are the lucky parents to seven year old quadruplets (born at 27 weeks) and I say lucky because we waited years to be a Mommy and Daddy :) Our children have been through many medical obstacles during their short lives, we're so fortunate to be able to tuck each one of them in every night. We've been through middle of the night phone calls during months in the NICU, early intervention, reflux, asthma with all 4, multiple trips to the doctor (did I bring the right one?!) and other issues that arise with babies born so early. I certainly understand the experience at Target, been through it myself many times, but for goodness sakes... Take a moment(or two!) to laugh and have fun with your children and the experiences you have with them.
Loving every second of my often chaotic life
Posted by Donna | Oct. 29, 2008 at 7:24 PM
COMMENT:
Been there several times, unsafe situations that leave you running like a crazy woman with one child under your arm OR mentally choosing who would be more injured before running. Snow day last Dec? We stayed at a hotel, I was alone with them until 9 and they ran wild, mostly fun/crazy, then he went across the 50ft lobby to see the Christmas tree. We decided to be very strict with them; they HAVE to listen to us first time every time or they get a time out for not listening. Every time I see a poster of a lost dog or cat I tell them about the dog, his name and point at the picture---I say "the dog walked away from his Mommy and Daddy" We drove by "Henry's posters" (was it Henry) last year for months as the lovely dog went unfound for a long time. They have to listen; the alternative is something I don’t want to consider. Everyday I thank God to have these amazing children and their relationship with each other astonishingly loving, even with fighting they are far more than friends—wh
Blessings
Posted by Anonymous | Oct. 29, 2008 at 7:39 PM
COMMENT:
Not everyone walks out of the hospital with both. Thank God I am not that Mom who misses out on the fun of twins. I am literally wading in miracles and blessings. Two healthy happy 3 yo that were born 13 weeks early and stayed in the NICU 4.5 months. Plus, people are really happy when they hear an amazing story, it really warms people and they start talking about miracles. They smile. As far as the antics of twins, been there--I just need to build up my story telling skills so I can do these kids justice.

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