City Journal Article

Seeking: Nosy Jewish Moms

They've always played matchmaker. Now Hub singles are actually lining up for their help.

By Hinda Mandell

SETUP ARTISTS: Simcha Connection founder Mindy Gewirtz, center, with fellow matchmakers. Photo by Kathleen Dooher.

Seven Jewish women huddle around a dining room table in Brookline, noshing on Jordan almonds and dried fruit. Their task: Find a love match for a 38-year-old divorced rabbi with kids and a Ph.D. One of the ladies immediately suggests a 37-year-old acquaintance. "She dresses bohemian, but very attractive bohemian," she says, and then leans in for the kill. "She's a massage therapist." The others whoop their approval. Another potential success for the matchmaking Simcha Connection.

It's true: Young Jewish singles, once overwhelmed by their mothers' unsolicited advice, are asking their elders to barge into their love lives. In a world of online dating sites and singles lunches, Simcha's clients—hundreds of them so far—look to these latter-day romance gurus for something more traditional and comfortable. And the women enjoy it so much, they work for free.

Business consultant Mindy Gewirtz, founded the group five years ago, after hearing some Jewish singles in her neighborhood grumbling about the trouble they'd had finding love. Perhaps because her husband is a rabbi, it occurred to Gewirtz that in centuries past the whole community was responsible for solving this problem. "This is an emergency," she thought. "If we don't help them, they'll feel we abandoned them." So she launched the Simcha Connection ("simcha" means "joy" in Hebrew), a rotating cast of friends who identified lonesome singles within their social circles and got together for whirlwind sessions of suggestions, countersuggestions, and speculative compatibility tests that they hoped would spark romance. As word spread, strangers around town also began asking for help.

Simcha members continue to meet monthly at Gewirtz's home, matching everyone they can: singles, divorcees, widowers of all ages. (Sorry, no goyim allowed.) They can't yet boast a marriage, but they're optimistic.

So is the divorced rabbi, even though it turns out he's already familiar with the massage therapist (who knew?) and isn't interested. He figures it's only a matter of time for him. After all, if you're searching for someone who's in shape, you look at the gym; if you want someone serious about settling down, you look to Simcha. "You hire a personal trainer because a personal trainer will keep you on track and motivate you," he says. "It's the same thing with relationships."

Originally published in Boston magazine, July 2008
 

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User comments

Do you use the "n" word too?
Posted by Karin | Jul. 14, 2008 at 8:17 PM
COMMENT:
It was really a watershed moment for the American Jewish Elite to be able to use a slur such as "goyim" in Boston Magazine with such flair. I assume niggers were also not included in the matchmaking possiblities?
Foreign Words
Posted by Vaca | Jul. 20, 2008 at 7:48 PM
COMMENT:
It is not only insulting to use such an ugly word. The use of such foreign words, gives the impression of not being American, of trying to feel superior to others or well-bred. It projects silliness and superficiality.
A New Open-ness
Posted by Michael | Jul. 23, 2008 at 12:17 AM
COMMENT:
It's wonderful that the racism, snobbishness, and ethnocentricity of certain elements of the Jewish community is now being discussed and exposed. Schwartzers, Shiksas and Goys rejoice!
Informative Article
Posted by vinsaner17 | Mar. 20, 2009 at 5:46 AM
COMMENT:
I loved your article. (Or could be something specific about the topic). I am part of the bizymoms.com Boston community and I know they would love to read it. www.bizymoms.com/boston/index.php
Boston Bizymoms
Posted by Britney | Mar. 21, 2009 at 8:28 AM
COMMENT:
You are an amazing writer and you should contact www.bizymoms.com/boston/index.php to get your blog featured to their large mom community. I am sure they would love your posts. I think in their expert page there is a form. click here

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