Using Their Heads
After shaving his dome this winter, Deval Patrick looked (for once) intense and authoritative. But can that tactic work for just anyone?
- Illustration by John Ueland.
Maybe he merely needed a change, but after a sluggish start in office, a freshly bald Deval showed up at the State House looking ready for action. Which got us thinking about other Bostonians who could use a razor-edge boost. We picked four, then solicited perspective for them (and the governor) from real-life bald peers.
Deval Patrick
Governor
Why: To get his casinos, he'll have to keep the lean and mean look. Former state senator and 2002 gubernatorial candidate Warren Tolman says: "It's more what Diane Patrick thinks than anyone else. He has a jury of one. But hey, listen, if being bald was directly related to electability, it'd be Tolmania instead of Obama-mania this year."
Maureen Feeney
City Council President
Why: She's feuding with Mayor Menino, which means she'll need every advantage she can get. America's Next Top Model finalist (and rare chrome-domed candidate) Nnenna Agba says: "Having my head shaved isolated me more, made me stand out more. It also showed confidence. Being able to have a shaved head takes confidence. People took me more seriously."
Mitt Romney
Ex–Presidential Candidate
Why: It's the one re--invention he hasn't tried. Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch says: "Millions of men envy his hair; I don't happen to. My barber's terrific, and he knows what to do with the few spare hairs that are there. But if being bald makes the individual feel a greater sense of himself, then he should do it."
Bill Belichick
Patriots Coach
Why: To put 18-1 behind him. Football analyst Terry Bradshaw says: "People are constantly taking shots at the follicly challenged, trying to be funny, so we find out how mentally tough we are. But don't cut his hair! The guy is like Samson-—he's a powerful man! Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a toupee he's wearing. Heh, heh."
Dane Cook
Actor and Comedian
Why: Have you seen his movies? Donnell Rawlings of Chappelle's Show says: "Being bald is awesome, and it's a good excuse to get fat. Because when that happens, you get the 'Aww, he's like Buddha!' reaction. It's the way to gain attention. Look at Howie Mandel. He turns up bald and suddenly he's a pimp—surrounded by hot women, giving away dough. He's like a balder Ed McMahon."
Deval Patrick
Governor
Why: To get his casinos, he'll have to keep the lean and mean look. Former state senator and 2002 gubernatorial candidate Warren Tolman says: "It's more what Diane Patrick thinks than anyone else. He has a jury of one. But hey, listen, if being bald was directly related to electability, it'd be Tolmania instead of Obama-mania this year."
Maureen Feeney
City Council President
Why: She's feuding with Mayor Menino, which means she'll need every advantage she can get. America's Next Top Model finalist (and rare chrome-domed candidate) Nnenna Agba says: "Having my head shaved isolated me more, made me stand out more. It also showed confidence. Being able to have a shaved head takes confidence. People took me more seriously."
Mitt Romney
Ex–Presidential Candidate
Why: It's the one re--invention he hasn't tried. Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch says: "Millions of men envy his hair; I don't happen to. My barber's terrific, and he knows what to do with the few spare hairs that are there. But if being bald makes the individual feel a greater sense of himself, then he should do it."
Bill Belichick
Patriots Coach
Why: To put 18-1 behind him. Football analyst Terry Bradshaw says: "People are constantly taking shots at the follicly challenged, trying to be funny, so we find out how mentally tough we are. But don't cut his hair! The guy is like Samson-—he's a powerful man! Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a toupee he's wearing. Heh, heh."
Dane Cook
Actor and Comedian
Why: Have you seen his movies? Donnell Rawlings of Chappelle's Show says: "Being bald is awesome, and it's a good excuse to get fat. Because when that happens, you get the 'Aww, he's like Buddha!' reaction. It's the way to gain attention. Look at Howie Mandel. He turns up bald and suddenly he's a pimp—surrounded by hot women, giving away dough. He's like a balder Ed McMahon."
Originally published in Boston magazine, April 2008
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