Matt Damon Played Himself on House of Lies
Last night, in a classic “celebrity plays a psychotic version of himself” plot line, Matt Damon guest starred on Showtime’s House of Lies, playing a potential new client for the consultant company where Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell’s characters work.
Look, you know what I need, right? I mean, I just basically need a cause that’s the size of Clooney’s cause, only with bigger tits. I mean, that guy, he puts on a Hawaiian shirt and they hand him a f****** Oscar, right? I mean, ’cause everybody thinks he’s so deep, you know? ’Cause they see him on TV going ‘Grr, Darfur, bad!’ … F*** him. I wanna be on that podium next year pissing down all over his face.
After some more shenanigans resulting in Matt Damon being totally high on Vicodin and asking Don Cheadle for a blow job, the deal is sealed. Presenting, Damon’s Children: