Deciphering the Wahlberg Family
Wahlburgers is breaking mainstream media, so it’s important to get your Wahlbergs straight. Here’s a breakdown.
With Wahlburgers becoming one of A&E’s most popular shows, some viewers might find themselves having trouble keeping up with the Wahlbergs. Kinda like Dorchester-meets-the-Kardashians, there really are just four on the show you need to care about: Mom and the three kids voluntarily in the spotlight.
For those of you non-Blockheads who don’t know your Donnies from your Pauls, here’s a Wahlberg clan primer:
Paul Wahlberg: The Brains
They always say on the show that Paul is the brains of the Wahlburgers operation. He’s the most rational, which doesn’t always work in his favor. His opinions are often overshadowed by Mark and Donnie’s, but at the end of the day, Paul gets the final shot by simply saying that he knows what the hell he’s doing.
Paul: “Just let me focus. Let me do my thing. Leave me alone.”
PLUS: Read this Q&A with Paul Wahlberg about Wahlburgers.
Mark Wahlberg: The Backbone
If Paul is the one with the logic, Mark is the one driving the family to get where they need to be. He’s got a lot of ideas on his plate, and likes to pursue every single one of them all at once. Everything is a competition to him and he’s fearless…because he’s Mark Wahlberg.
Mark: “I was always determined to figure out a way to beat every single one of [my siblings].”
Donnie Wahlberg: The Voice
While Paul and Mark are the two go-getters, Donnie is very much the guy who sits in the backseat casting remarks that are heard only part of the time. He’s the peanut gallery. His opinions on the business are not often taken seriously, but boy, can he promote. The only instances when his advice is noted are when Mark and Paul are butting heads.
Paul, on Donnie: “I’m standing here, and these women are trying to claw past me to get Donnie, and Donnie’s like, ‘Hey, how ya doin’!'”
Alma Wahlberg: The Name
Alma, who lends her name to Paul’s restaurant Alma Nove, is often the voice of reason. But actually, she is the reason to watch the show. While Mark, Donnie, and Paul have a lot to say about each other, Alma actually has the real dirt (right, Baby Donnie?). And she’s the epitome of your classic Bostonian grandma, the kind with the best red sauce recipe and who probably used to smoke a pack a day. If you really need to choose a Wahlberg to love on this show, pick Alma.
Donnie: “The Wahlberg boys have this larger-than-life tough guy reputation, but in truth, we’re all a bunch of momma’s boys.”
Wahlburgers airs Wednesdays at 10:30 p.m. on A&E. Watch full episodes from Season 1 so far on aetv.com.