Jacoby Ellsbury Makes Us Swoon
The Red Sox haven’t had a crush-worthy player since Johnny Damon won our hearts with his Neanderthal features. This season we got Jacoby Ellsbury, the player with both the skills we appreciate and the [EDIT: young] good looks the team was lacking. When you hear a whole lot of high-pitched shrieking emanating from Downtown Crossing early this evening, it’s because Ellsbury is in town for a DVD signing.
In order to meet the part-time center fielder at FYE, you’ve got to pre-order or purchase the 2007 World Series DVD from the store. At $19.99, it’s a small price to pay to meet the future superstar. The signing isn’t until 4 p.m., but we wanted to give you time to work on your plan to escape from work. We find feigning nausea is the best way to go with that.
Of course, you can always thank us for this kindness by getting us an autographed DVD from the little cutie. Just saying.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:29 am
//and the good looks the team was lacking//
Mike Lowell says hi.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I didn’t mean to disrespect the gray-haired but still handsome third baseman. I’ve added a condition to Ellsbury’s level of attractiveness and we will gladly accept any Mike Lowell-autographed merch as well.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Yes, young Ellsbury is a very handsome young man and a breath of fresh air out there in center. Big time pressure at the most important time of the year and the boy didn’t blink.
He is a nice visual reminder to an earlier time and a younger center fielder we once had.
Somewhere, Johnny Damon pulls out his baggie of hair out of his bathroom drawer and sobs.
And yeah — Mike Lowell = H.A.N.D.S.O.M.E and THANK YOU RED SOX for listening to us for once and signing him and not that blithering whiner Arod!