Around this time of year, there’s nothing better than an afternoon spent drinking, grilling meats, and watching fireworks. We tend to let the professionals handle lighting the explosives—we think we remember hearing something once about not drinking and blowing stuff up.

But it seems that kids are harnessing the power of the internet to not only buy fireworks, but create their own.

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The Gloucester baby boom story has been ugly from the get-go. Last week, Time magazine reported on its website that a group of teenage girls made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. The national firestorm was immediate.

Now the Gloucester debate isn’t focused solely on teenage sex. It’s also become a media issue.

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Our idea of hell is living with a dairy allergy. We can’t imagine a life lived without mozzarella sticks, ice cream, or ice-cold glasses of milk paired with warm cookies. We’d probably just pop some Lactaid and suffer through the ill effects.

As bad as cheese-free living may be, at least it’s not dangerous. People with severe nut allergies live in fear of being exposed to even trace amounts of nutty goodness. And Manny Ramirez feels for them.

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During my freshman year of high school, one of my classmates got pregnant. I wasn’t friends with her and I never saw her with a boyfriend, so I never knew who knocked her up. Even the other kids, who gossiped about her growing belly at lunch, didn’t have the details.

After watching her, along with all the Very Special Episodes of 90’s teen shows that featured pregnant girls, I spent the beginning of my time as a sexually active woman in stark terror I’d get pregnant. Despite taking precautions, I feared broken condoms or any other odd circumstance that would give me the same reputation as my classmate (as well as result in my mother ending my life).

Apparently, flannel shirts aren’t the only trend that’s fallen out of favor since my high school days. High school girls in Gloucester are actually trying to get pregnant.

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Dear Globe,

Hello there, friends. Boston Daily here. We were a little confused when we picked up our copy of the paper today. On the front page, you have an article titled “Massachusetts, land of twins.”

We hadn’t had our coffee yet, so you’ll have to forgive us for thinking we’d picked up a copy of this month’s issue of Boston magazine and were reading Julie Suratt’s story titled “Double Trouble.”

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When it’s not busy making us drowsy, the Globe appears to have named itself steward of the English language. Back in April, the paper editorialized about a study that reveals that kids these days don’t understand standard English because they communicate mainly in text shorthand by writing their opinion in the same pseudo-language. Kind of silly, if you ask us.

Today, the Globe reports that rumors of English’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

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If the ease with which we got a seat on the T these past few days is any indication, many of you elected to take a couple of days off to extend your long Memorial Day weekend. Even some teenagers are taking advantage of the nice weather to skip school and walk along Newbury Street, play Guitar Hero with the windows open, or whatever it is the kids do these days.

But we’d like to remind you high schoolers out there that there’s a right and a wrong way to play hooky, as 14-year-old Alexus Clarke helpfully demonstrated yesterday.

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While we here in America are wondering if the internet will kill print journalism, people in Japan are wondering whether text messaging will destroy the novel. In the Land of the Rising Sun, half of last year’s bestselling novels were originally cellphone novels, originally composed in text message format.

We thought the Boston Police Department was incredibly forward-thinking when we skimmed over this announcement for its “Text For Peace” contest. Alas, the BPD didn’t lift the idea and is sticking with the tried-but-true poster contest.

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We have fond memories of our first summer jobs. Back before we had rent or credit card debt, we could spend the money we earned herding elementary school kids on CD’s and gas that cost 99 cents a gallon. Those were the days.

So we were sad to read that Boston’s teenagers may not get the opportunity to earn some cash this summer. The agency in charge of the program that gets kids off the streets and into entry-level jobs at some of the city’s biggest companies says it only has enough money to fund 500 jobs for an estimated 4,000 kids who want them.

But rest easy, kids. We’ve got a solution.

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Parents these days are busy. Whether they’re working to pass Proposition 2 1/2 overrides or forcing their kids to give up their birthday presents for charity, it’s hard to fit in the mundane tasks of raising a child. Which is why etiquette classes for kids are becoming wildly popular.

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