It’s been five months since former governor Mitt Romney suspended his campaign, and things have being going pretty well for him. He’s been appearing on television to support former nemesis John McCain, and in the process even earning some backhanded praise from the presumptive Republican nominee. The big slumber party was another coup, and to top it all off, the Mittster bought a fancy new house in California.

But, alas, life hasn’t been all roses for our man Mitt. Remember back in January of ‘07 when he proclaimed that tapping into his personal fortune for campaign purposes would be “akin to a nighmare?” Well, six months later, the candidate did just that, sinking $45 million into his doomed candidacy. And now, Romney is going to have to call that money a loss.

We told you that you were a bad investment, Mitt.

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Last week, we learned that the Turnpike Authority wants the state to cosign its loans in order to refinance its debt before a huge lump-sum payment comes due in January. A series of boneheaded financial moves by former chairman Matt Amorello left the agency in dire straits, and Gov. Deval Patrick wants to bail it out to prevent another toll hike.

But State Treasurer Tim Cahill says the Turnpike shouldn’t get its money for nothing.

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Governor Deval Patrick had a pretty good half-year, despite the death of his casino bill. The budget he signed on Sunday was largely his creation. He played ping-pong without much controversy. And, he finally showed some ability to use the press to his advantage when his daughter announced she’s gay.

The governor still has the golden touch, apparently. Today’s Globe reports that Patrick is paying off some of his campaign expenses by circumventing the state’s limit on how much an individual can donate to a candidate, and that very few people have gotten worked up over the move.

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As you may have heard (unless you live in Kevin Cullen’s rock house), Alex Rodriguez’s marriage is ending, largely because of his affinity for strippers and pop stars. But Toronto and New York aren’t the only cities where A-Rod reportedly broke his marriage vows.

Candice Houlihan, a former stripper at Boston’s own Centerfolds, claims she had an affair with the Yankees third baseman in 2004, and Cynthia Rodriguez’s lawyers say they may talk to her as the divorce proceedings continue.

While Houlihan is the controversial stripper du jour, Boston has a long history of stripper-centric scandal. After the jump, it’s the sexiest history review since you studied Henry VIII.

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Back in the days when college students could still finance their educations with student loans, our parents had to cosign for one year of our astronomically expensive education. (Yeah, we had some trouble with that credit card we ended up with freshman year.) To this day, we’re threatened with dismemberment should we make a late payment and ruin our mom’s credit score.

But cosigning loans isn’t just for parents of spendthrift liberal arts majors anymore. Now the state may have to vouch for the Turnpike Authority’s ability to pay back its massive debt.

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The FBI continues to look really hard for James “Whitey” Bulger. From the shores of the Caribbean to the cafes of the South of France, no location is too scenic remote for investigators. Yet the fugitive remains elusive, showing up only on German television from time to time.

In a new maneuver to capture the mobster, the state has set a trap of sorts. State Treasurer Tim Cahill announced that Bulger has some unclaimed property he’s welcome to come pick up.

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A Boston Daily tipster passed along a link to this announcement from the Middlesex County DA’s website. District Attorney Gerard Leone Jr. will indict two Tufts University employees on charges that they stole nearly $1 million from accounts that belonged to the Office of Student Activities.

That could have paid for a lot of punch and pie at student group meetings.

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One of the highlights of attending Opening Day at Fenway Park was the return of the Fenway Frank. There’s nothing like a sunny day, beer at 2 p.m., and sinking my teeth into that first hot dog of the new season.

In hindsight, maybe I should have stuck with the pre-packaged Cracker Jacks. The Globe reports that Fenway Park’s food stands failed health inspections conducted on Opening Day.

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One of the many reasons I love Boston is the distinct lack of farming that happens here. After growing up in a small town where cows standing in the road routinely made me late for school, I was happy to move to a place where Dunkin’ Donuts locations outnumbered bovines and tractors.

But it seems that some city-dwellers insist on bringing farming to the city.

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We’ve bought a lot of things we later regretted. Used bookstores refuse to buy our copy of A Million Little Pieces. Then there was the time we were drunk and purchased Britney Spears’ Greatest Hits CD.

But those transgressions are small compared to the pain Paul Minihane is experiencing. The state Supreme Judicial Court ruled today that he owes the Patriots the balance of his 10-year contract for two luxury season tickets.

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