A horrifying thing happened last night at the Wilbur. My friend and I slid up to the bar shortly before Eli “Paperboy” Reed & the True Loves took the stage to open for Duffy, and found something disturbing sitting on the counter.

“Soda only. SORRY!” A hastily-scrawled sign read.

Say what? In that terrifying instant we immediately regretted our choice to pass on a Tsingtao with our pre-concert noodles at Pho Pasteur. The bartender (soda jerk?) apologized as we walked toward the stage in a daze.

Members of Reed’s band had the foresight to smuggle in some Pabst tallboys, but concertgoers were left to sip diet Cokes. When the Welsh songstress was midway through her first song, even she noticed the crowd was largely sober.

“Why are you all so well-behaved?” she asked.

Probably because there isn’t any beer.

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One of the best things about seeing a concert at a suburban concert arena like Gillette Stadium or the Comcast Center is the pre-concert tailgating. There’s nothing better than sitting in a lawn chair on a summer evening and drinking beer in a parking lot with fans of the band you love.

We’ve pregamed before seeing acts from pop princess Kelly Clarkson (shut up) to industrial godfathers Nine Inch Nails. But we’ve never experienced a melee like the one at this weekend’s New England Country Music Festival concert, which was headlined by Red Sox wannabe Kenny Chesney.

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For years, Ted Kennedy and Utah Republican Orrin Hatch have been the Senate’s odd couple. When the liberal lion and the conservative, um, Rocky Mountain Elk, ended up on the same committee, they found they had to work together to get anything accomplished, and soon became friends. How bromantic.

It’s understandable that Hatch was devastated when he learned about Kennedy’s brain tumor. And like so many tortured souls, he turned to music to soothe his pain and penned a song about his friend Kennedy.

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Earlier this afternoon, Mayor Tom Menino and Farm Aid co-founder John Mellencamp made a visit to the Copley Farmers Market to announce the star-studded line-up for the annual Farm Aid concert, which hits New England for the first time in its 23-year history on September 20.

Menino was quick to welcome Mellencamp to the Hub in his own special way—a complete mangling of the rocker’s name. Dozens of cringing fans tried to help Hizzoner, but he continued to stumble. Say it with us, Mayor— Mell-EN-camp!

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These days, superstars aren’t happy doing only one thing. Madonna isn’t only a pop star, but she’s also a children’s book author and reputed homewrecker.

The members of the Boston Red Sox are no different. Curt Schilling has his budding video game empire. Coco Crisp enjoys moonlighting as a rapper (though we always envisioned him as more of a Snap, Crackle and Pop Star—heyo!).

And now even David Ortiz has a side project. On WAAF’s Hill-Man Morning Show today, Darryl McDaniels of Run-D.M.C. announced that he’s working on a collaboration with Big Papi.

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Tommy DeCarlo’s primary gig involves wearing an orange apron as a credit manager at a Home Depot in Charlotte, North Carolina. But starting Saturday the 43-year old father of two has a new gig: the lead singer of Boston. That’s right, Boston. DeCarlo will front their summer tour and appear on their next album, scheduled for early 2009.

This guy’s ascension to the helm of the best-named band in rock history—if we do say so ourselves—is even more unbelievable when you consider his rock ‘n’ roll experience. He doesn’t have any. (more…)

Late last week, we learned that Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler had checked himself into rehab. His reps didn’t confirm or deny the media’s reports/speculation that he’d started abusing drugs again, so we were left to wonder what was going on.

Tyler himself stepped forward today, and said he was just recovering from foot surgery.

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If any national organization could tell the difference between Brooklyn, New York and Brookline, Massachusetts, we’d expect it would be National Public Radio. Surely the liberal soccer moms in the affluent Boston suburb donate generously enough to put the town on NPR management’s radar.

But World Cafe’s David Dye didn’t seem to know the difference when he introduced Brookline native Eli “Paperboy” Reed on this weekend’s program.

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Late yesterday afternoon, TMZ.com reported that bad boy from Boston Steven Tyler had checked himself into Las Encinas Hospital’s rehab program. This morning, both the Herald and the Globe picked up the report, although no official word has come from Tyler’s reps yet.

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This past weekend, I made a brief pit-stop at the Kiss 108 concert, where I spent time interviewing everyone’s favorite man-band, New Kids on the Block.

Despite my time in their company, I need a little help understanding the New Kids and, more specifically, the mania their fans embody. Which is where you come in, dear readers.

If you love the New Kids, then I’m asking for a moment of your time. (more…)