We’re upset that John McCain has suspended his campaign to go to Washington and help handle the financial crisis. (Though not as livid as David Letterman. Let that be a lesson to any future candidates—do not cancel your Letterman appearance on short notice and talk to Katie Couric instead.)

If McCain keeps up this charade emergency measure, tomorrow night’s debate at the University of Mississippi won’t happen, which puts our Friday night partying plans in limbo. We’re not the only ones.

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Is Sam Yoon the victim of identity theft, or exploring the possibility of running for mayor of Boston by campaigning in San Francisco?

“Help us elect Sam in 2009!” read one invitation, describing the candidate’s “quest to become the first Asian-American mayor of Boston.”

Yoon’s office says that the California fundraiser was devised by enthusiastic supporters, and that the Boston City Councilor hasn’t yet decided whether or not he’ll run.

If you’re going to launch a campaign, Sam, you’d better announce your intentions soon. BoMag writer Joe Keohane is sadly on his way out of town, which means his endorsement offer is about to expire.

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The cover of today’s Herald gasps, “Are They High?” To which we reply, yeah, a group called the Marijuana Policy Project that supports legalizing pot has probably toked up a few times.

The tabloid is upset because the organization has donated $200,000 to help pass Question 2, which would decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana in Massachusetts. Officials worry that the group is using the Bay State as a domino that will cause states around the country to relax their drug laws, turning us into a nation of hackey sack-loving stoners.

And this is a bad thing. . . why?

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State Treasurer Tim Cahill blew our minds today by announcing that he’s giving up the scores of primo tickets the lottery gets for local sporting events because the value of the tickets is too great a reward for high-performing lottery agents.

“When you’re getting people to spend $25,000 [each] for Celtics playoff tickets, it doesn’t seem right for us to control any of those,” Cahill said. “We’re a public agency, I’m an elected official.”

On Beacon Hill, politicians must be scratching their heads and saying, “Huh? Access to great sports tickets is half the reason we got into this business.”

But in all seriousness, Tim, we don’t care that you have the tickets. We just want you to share them with us.

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Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson testified before a skeptical Senate Banking Committee today about why Congress should rush to pass President Bush’s bailout plan. Their reasoning seems to be that unless these banks get their $700 billion soon, things will get much worse. Awesome.

The plan has met with bipartisan criticism, with Alabama Republican Richard Shelby saying “‘We have got to look at some alternatives’ to the administration’s plan,” and Connecticut Democrat Chris Dodd calling the measure, “unacceptable.”

These are certainly dark times. Perhaps what this situation needs is a little help from Massachusetts.

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As you may have heard, John Kerry has gone from an epic struggle to control the highest office in the land to actually having to campaign for a senate seat that was once considered a lock. The transition hasn’t been a smooth one, with the junior senator having his share of bad days on the stump.

Today’s Globe suggests that Kerry should take a cue from the losers who came before him and throw himself into a cause that gets him out of bed in the morning. The senator maintains his position in Washington is enough to keep him going, but we’ve got an idea for a side project.

The Presidential Loser’s Guide to Recovering from Loss by John F. Kerry. It’s a guaranteed best-seller!

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When Congress takes a break for lunch, we hope Senator John Kerry picks up the tab. Roll Call reports that the junior senator from Massachusetts is the richest member of Congress, with an estimated value of $230.98 million.

Unless of course, he’s even richer than that.

Because the financial disclosure forms are confusing even to our elected officials, the Capitol Hill newspaper admits its tally isn’t completely accurate. But what is clear is that Kerry is loaded.

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Sniff. Sniff. We promised ourselves we wouldn’t get emotional, but we’re just so proud of Gov. Deval Patrick. Late last year, it seemed like “yes we can” was shorthand for “yes, we can run roughshod over the governor” as House Speaker Sal DiMasi ruthlessly killed Patrick’s casino legislation.

But today, we’re prouder than parents watching their baby take his first steps. Patrick is playing hardball with the police unions, and it looks like he might have them beat.

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Many Red Sox legends have taken on the Yankees. Carlton Fisk fought Thurman Munson and Lou Piniella. Jason Varitek infamously shoved his glove in the face of Alex Rodriguez. Pedro Martinez dropped Don Zimmer.

Today, we celebrate a hero who has never donned a Boston uniform. A man who makes Dustin Pedroia look like Andre the Giant. Ladies and gentlemen of Red Sox Nation, we give you Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich, who is now leading the charge against the Evil Empire’s new stadium.

Now we understand what his super-hot wife sees in him. (more…)

Embattled Governor’s Councilor Kelly Timilty kept her seat in yesterday’s election, handily beating challenger Robert Jubinville. We can only imagine the profanity coming from Jubinville’s office when PolitickerMA broke the news that his opponent forged an endorsement from Gov. Deval Patrick late on primary day.

We’ve had a day to process the scandal, and we still can’t fathom what Timilty was thinking.

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