We may not be Steve Schmidt or David Axelrod, but we know a few things politicians should avoid if they’d like to be elected. They should not cheat on their wives who have cancer. Trolling for gay sex in an airport bathroom is also a bad career move. And for the love of God, don’t drive a tank.

We’d like to lay forth a new rule for politicians: Please don’t talk about baseball.

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There is nothing like seeing a pitcher in total command of a playoff game like Jon Lester was last night against the Angels. Lester made it seem so effortless, like he was three or four steps ahead of everyone in the opposing lineup. I’m not buying the radar gun that had him at 97 in the sixth inning, but he was aggressive, crafty, and confident.

We have been exceedingly lucky to have three aces come through town in the last decade, and each had (or has) a different style. Pedro was untouchable, treating batters like mere amusements for his genius. Curt Schilling was a bulldog, never conceding an inch of the plate. Josh Beckett is frighteningly disdainful of the opposition. He is insulted when someone even makes contact.

Lester is something else. He is becoming a master craftsman of the art of pitching, and it’s a beautiful thing to watch. After the jump, three more observations from last night’s Game One win. (more…)

Game One of the American League Division Series gets underway tonight at 10 p.m. We know you’re not going to like this, Red Sox fans, but we need to get this off our chest.

We’re just not that excited for the ALDS.*

Please, put down your pitchforks and don’t send that profanity-riddled email you’re crafting in your mind. It’s not that we don’t care. But for some reason, the thrill of the playoffs just isn’t that strong this year. Let’s see if we can figure out this curious emotion.

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The only person Bostonians love more than Mayor Tom Menino is David Ortiz. Big Papi’s bat carried us to championships in 2004 and 2007, and his mega-watt grin brings us almost as much joy as the two World Series trophies.

So, when we heard Ortiz was putting his bed up for auction, we assumed the bids would come in fast and furious. But the slugger’s bed hasn’t received one bid.

Sure, the economy is in bad shape. But we can do better than this.

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Many Red Sox legends have taken on the Yankees. Carlton Fisk fought Thurman Munson and Lou Piniella. Jason Varitek infamously shoved his glove in the face of Alex Rodriguez. Pedro Martinez dropped Don Zimmer.

Today, we celebrate a hero who has never donned a Boston uniform. A man who makes Dustin Pedroia look like Andre the Giant. Ladies and gentlemen of Red Sox Nation, we give you Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich, who is now leading the charge against the Evil Empire’s new stadium.

Now we understand what his super-hot wife sees in him. (more…)

There’s something about Red Sox principal owner John Henry’s insistence on pushing NASCAR that leaves us confused. Henry’s Fenway Sports Group is wooing the members of Red Sox Kid Nation in the hopes that some of them will learn to love watching cars go around in circles for hours on end. Even the kid pictured in the Globe’s story looks deeply skeptical.

But it’s not just our obvious indifference to camshafts and restrictor plates that makes us wonder why Henry pushes the racing thing while we’re trying to watch the Sox.

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Jonathan Papelbon likes to dance. We thought his love for the art form started when the closer did a jig after the Red Sox clinched the AL East last year, but the moves continued through the World Series rolling rally. MLB has even created a stuffed bear that dances to “Shipping Up to Boston.”

But as we’ll see on Comcast SportsNet tonight, Papelbon’s love of dancing has been with him for years.

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Every time Jonathan Papelbon enters a game at Fenway, the song “Wild Thing” blares from the stadium speakers in tribute to the the greatest (fictional) closer of them all, the legendary Ricky Vaughn from Major League. Perhaps channeling Wild Thing Vaughn in the scene where Ricky forgets about the curve and whiffs Heywood on high cheese, the Sox’ Cinco Ocho also shelved his off-speed stuff in favor of the heat last night. The only problem was that Heywood (being played by Tampa Bay Ray Dan Johnson) hit one far, far off the reservation.

Writing for espn.com before last night’s game with the Rays, Keith Law (Insider Only) suggested that Papelbon has basically abandoned his entire repertoire, save for his fastball, and that was it only a matter of time until that backfired:

Jonathan Papelbon used to throw a devastating splitter as his out pitch, changing eye levels between the splitter and his upper-90s fastball. He has scrapped the splitter and replaced it with a slider that’s nowhere near the swing-and-miss pitch his splitter was.

You know that Law’s observation hit home because Don and Jerry were actually talking about it last night, with Remy insisting that Papelbon hadn’t shelved the splitter, until yet another fastball rocketed off the Monster. (more…)

We don’t know who’s going to win the MVP, but if there was an award for endorsements, Kevin Youkilis would certainly be a finalist. It seems like everywhere we look, the Red Sox first baseman’s face is staring out at us from another label.

Which got us to thinking: Is it possible to eat three meals a day comprised solely of products endorsed by Youk? Let’s investigate.

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In his last seven games, Dustin Pedroia is 18-for-30 with 11 RBIs—numbers that you would be hard-pressed to get playing Colecovision baseball. He is so hot right now that it’s surprising when he actually does make an out. But it was still a little jarring to hear the fans at Fenway chant M-V-P at the little instigator last night.

Pedroia—who’s awesomely been batting cleanup lately—has been fantastic, but MVP? Really? (more…)