Lyndon LaRouche is Disgusted With You

The people peddling ideas to the great waves of commuters speed-walking to South Station every night usually employ some sort of attention-getting device. Recent attempts include young women seemingly high on some combination of pixie dust and box wine, waving ribbons in big circles and handing out flyers for Cirque de Soleil. Greenpeace has a steady presence, an army of fresh-faced romantics happily arming themselves with “life experience” before they head to grad school.

But the worst group that I have run into is the supporters of perennial presidential candidate and political malcontent Lyndon LaRouche. Most of them appear—like their Greenpeace brethren—to be young idealists, handing out LaRouche’s latest action memo with a smile. Careful reading of these documents finds LaRouche gloating about nation’s awful financial crisis with all the maturity of an older sibling who dramatically enjoys their ice cream cone after knocking yours to the pavement.

Here are a few important lines from one of the recent fliers handed out to commuters:

TITLE: “I Was Right, You Were Wrong—But I am Going To Give You Another Chance”

Oh, thank god. We promise to wear a more appropriate cummerbund to dinner this time. Absolutely no floral patterns.

“Are you going to listen this time? Finally, are you going to listen, and hear what you’ve got to do?”

Totally. And don’t pull any punches. Hurt us, Lyndon.

“If you had not listened to (Greenspan), we wouldn’t be in this mess, would we? Are you going to do the same stupid thing again? Are you going to listen to these jerks again?”

Are we talking about financial institutions here or a group of bad kids from the public school that made us smoke and drink and not call home? I’m lost.

“Okay, now that you guys have been proven wrong, I don’t have to take your crap anymore. Now you listen to me, and improve your ways!”

If there is one way to convince major American lawmakers (and the public at large) to change their ways, it is to first insult and berate them and then demand that they improve—all in flier handed out to the few Boston commuters not acting as if the LaRouche PAC volunteers were offering handfuls of asbestos. Sign us up.

—DAN MORRELL