Ed Markey's Snarky Fight with Republicans

Would someone run against this guy so he can battle with an actual human?

Today in the most boring special Senate race ever, Rep. Ed Markey, currently the only actual candidate to declare for John Kerry’s Senate seat, got into a silly spat with the state Republican Party, in the absence of any actual Republican candidate with which to spar. We admit that the opening shot from the state Republicans, though silly, was a mildly clever riff on Mayor Menino’s wager with Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake over the upcoming Patriots-Ravens AFC championship game. The two mayors have agreed that the loser will send the winner a sampling of their local delicacies.

Current non-candidate Scott Brown has already made an issue of Markey’s residency—he owns a home in suburban Maryland, and many believe the amount of time he’s spent there over the years will become a campaign issue. The State Republican Party issued a statement Friday morning saying:

In the unlikely event of a Ravens victory, the MassGOP will send Markey a case of Harpoon Winter Warmer, clam chowder from the legendary Union Oyster House and the complete series of Cheers on DVD.But if the Patriots win, Markey will cough up a case of Natural Bohemian, the Baltimore-brewed beer, a platter of Maryland crab cakes from the award-winning J.W. Faidley restaurant and all five seasons of The Wire, the popular television series produced and filmed in Baltimore.

The joke, of course, is that they’re treating Markey as if he’s a Baltimore fan and resident. Markey’s spokesman responded to say:

The only thing worse than the Ravens record at Foxborough is the Republican Party’s record in Massachusetts recent elections. As a former Patriots season ticket holder, Ed Markey has rooted for the Patriots his entire life, and Ed will be proudly cheering for the Patriots this Sunday.

Someone should probably declare for the Senate race so that Ed Markey has an actual opponent with whom to trade these snarky barbs. Meanwhile, the state Republicans might secretly hope for a Ravens victory so they can make their point twice by sending him the goods, because lord knows Markey’s not going to hold up his end of that fake wager.