Boston, According to the New York Times

Yesterday, Boston reeled when the New York Times and the A.P. reported that South Boston is now known as “SoBo.” Rest assured, this is factually incorrect … for now.

But these vicious media lies are certainly part of a nefarious campaign waged by New York types who would rob Boston of its authentic identity. Just as New Yorkers turn their own triangles below Canal Street into TriBeCas, their South of Houstons into SoHos, so too might their cultural influence poison our perfectly acceptable neighborhood names. (It’s already happened with SoWa.)

Lest you think the threat reaches only as far as Southie, Boston has drawn up some blueprints envisioning the damage New York could wreak should they claim victory over our city. Let it strike fear into your hearts! (Okay, so we just had fun coming up with stupid abbreviations for neighborhoods and decided to put them on a map. But still. Be afraid!)

The Boston Globe reported in 2005 that brokers and developers attempted to rebrand several neighborhoods last decade. (EaBo was among their innovations.) Luckily, Boston then managed to throw off the yoke of realtor BS. Can we resist the New York-ification of Boston this time around? We’d better try, lest we end up making a daily commute from our loft apartments in SoDoCho to our offices in DoToCro. Oh how pitifully twee!