David Ortiz Sold Out the #Selfie

The Red Sox MVP had a deal with Samsung when he took a photo with President Obama. May the #Selfie now rest in peace.

#Selfie P. Hoto, whose innovative style of self-portraiture swept up a generation of narcissists, has died. She was, by some counts, 175 years old.

Reports suggest that #Selfie perished instantly when David Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox used her to photograph himself meeting President Obama, only  to reveal that Samsung had sponsored what had seemed to be a spontaneous portrait of two famous men. The photo was taken with a Samsung Galaxy Note 3, as the company was quick to inform followers on Twitter. Witnesses say that #Selfie never stood a chance of surviving the transition from amusing photo format to celebrity monetization opportunity.

Boston.com reported on the cause of death:

Samsung confirmed that it had helped Ortiz take today’s selfie with President Obama. The mobile provider then promoted the picture on Twitter to the company’s 5.2 million followers. That dwarfs Ortiz’s 630,000 plus followers.

Trade publication Sports Business Journal reported on Monday that Ortiz had inked a new deal with the cell phone provider to become a social media insider.

Samsung confirmed in a statement that the murder was premedidated, planned for any opportunity Ortiz might get while at the White House. “When we heard about the visit to the White House, we worked with David and the team on how to share images with fans. We didn’t know if or what he would be able to capture using his Note 3 device,” a rep told Boston.com.

#Selfie’s death by monetization had been a long time coming. Samsung clearly saw an opportunity when comedian Ellen Degeneres’s star-packed #Selfie at this year’s Academy Awards was taken by a Galaxy Note 3. Though they used the viral photo to promote their product, they hadn’t actually thought to pre-arrange it. That’s where Ortiz and his White House visit in honor of his World Series win came in handy.

No doubt #Selfie’s cultural cache as a whimsical, organic photo form had long suffered the pressures of success. Her title as the Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year, her hit dance single, a new TV show, and her discovery by your parents had all ironically threatened to overexpose her into overuse and obsolescence. But it was Samsung’s final success in converting her from internet phenomenon to opportunistic commercialism that finally did her in as an amusing trend.

She is survived by her close relatives the PhotoBooth glamour shot and the Photobomb.