Life Unchained

How to have fun without making a long-term commitment.

divorce guide no commitment

Photo by Joyce Lee. Styling by Anna Lee Wallack/Anchor Artists. Left: Burberry suit, and Giorgio Armani shirt, both Bloomingdale’s; Isaia tie, and Tom Ford portfolio briefcase, both Neiman Marcus Copley. Right: sweater, jeans, and shoes, all J.Crew; Marc by Marc Jacobs shirt, Bloomingdale’s; bag, model’s own.

Exit Minivan

Go luxe or go exotic, with no money down.

After puttering around in a Honda Odyssey for years, sliding into a luxury rental can instantly rev up your mojo. Rick Porter, of the high-end auto-rental website Status Ride (statusride.com), says his male clients opt for swanky rides over fancy sports cars, preferring the Bentley Continental GT, which runs around $10,000 per month. Women are more interested in speed, seeking Lamborghinis, Ferraris, the Porsche 911, and, interestingly, the Audi R-8—wheels of choice for make-believe hedge funder Christian, of Fifty Shades of Grey fame.

How to Spend Your

Alimony/House Buyout/Jewelry Jackpot

We’re not saying you should blow your entire wad, but here are a few suggestions for improving your quality of life.

.75-carat version: An Elegant Entertaining class with chef Barbara Lynch, at Stir ($250, stirboston.com).
10-carat version: An associate’s degree in culinary arts from Le Cordon Bleu ($37,100, chefs.edu).

.75-carat version: Teeth whitening ($299, bostonbritesmile.com).
10-carat version: A set of veneers ($15,000 for 10 teeth, restoreteeth.com).

.75-carat version: Weekly professional housecleaning (starting at $130 for a 3,000-square-foot Boston condo, themaids.com).
10-carat version: A full-time personal assistant (starting at $85,000 per year, casscompany.com).

.75-carat version: Private horseback-riding lessons ($75 per hour, cantonequestrian.com).
10-carat version: An entry-level dressage horse, plus room and board for a year ($41,000, Cutler Farm).

.75-carat version: An annual membership at Boston Sports Clubs (starting at $60 per month, mysportsclubs.com).
10-carat version: An annual membership at Bosse Sports (approximately $7,500 per year, bossesports.com).

.75-carat version: A new phone and number ($200 plus $60 a month for service, verizonwireless.com).
10-carat version: A new area code (inestimable).

Hello, Kitty

Intergenerational flirtations open up the field.

According to CougarLife (cougarlife.com), Cambridge is the state capital of inter-age dating—rife with older women looking for twentysomething fun. Neely Steinberg, a Boston-based dating coach and columnist, says dating younger men gives experienced women a chance to grab the reins. “This is a great way to see what it’s like to take charge of the romance in your life,” Neely says. She advises would-be cougars to “be open to new, fun, adventurous date ideas…and when the mature you steps in and says, ‘I’m too old for this,’ well, shut that voice down.” Of course, you could always have him over for dinner at your place (after all that takeout, “he’ll be blown away by whatever you cook”), or invite him to a party with your older, married friends (“This is a great way to practice not giving a shit about what other people say or think about you”).

Fool Me Twice

Hooking up too soon may be exactly the wrong thing to do.

It’s easy to fall into the bliss of a rebound—everyone wants to feel wanted and needed—but take it easy. While it could turn into a long-term relationship, too often the foundation beneath the rebound was never built on firm ground. “How can you tell it’s unhealthy? If you can’t stop comparing him or her to your ex. If you find yourselves fighting over something triggered by your past. And if you feel a need to hype the match on Facebook, the product probably doesn’t speak for itself,” says Boston-based marriage and family therapist Valentina Zuman (zumancounseling.com).

A Quick Prenup Primer

Shopping for a mail-order bride from Kiev? Remember to practice safe second marriage. 

Some people just need to put a ring on it, but the second time around, you’re older and wiser. The key to watertight prenuptial agreements is making sure they’re fair, says attorney Tim Braughler, of Taylor, Ganson & Perrin—otherwise they may not hold up in court. That means both parties should have their own lawyers (who preferably speak their native tongues). One sure-fire way to render the prenup worthless: hiding some of your assets. And both parties need to sign the agreement willingly, since nothing spoils a legal document like coercion.

Check out the rest of our divorce primer: Welcome to Splitsville.

Source URL: http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/article/2013/04/30/divorce-guide-no-commitment/