The Uterus That Ate the Republican National Convention

As anyone with a Facebook account and a passel of liberal-minded, status-update-happy friends knows, there is a giant, rainbow-colored uterus working its way across the Gulf, hellbent on ruining the Republic National Convention. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof:

hurricane isaacImage via Facebook

As Isaac roars ashore today, having thwarted plans for the opening day of the Tampa-based convention, the now-viral photo of the hurricane has some saying they won’t laugh at another hurricane poised to damage the Gulf Coast, and others saying, “Lighten up.”

Given that in recent months we’ve had to stomach such episodes as Missouri senatorial candidate Todd Akin’s bizarre misunderstanding of the human reproductive system, Rush Limbaugh’s personal attack on Sandra Fluke, the banishment of a lawmaker in Michigan for using the word “vagina,” and the prospect of trans-vaginal ultrasounds as punishment for unwanted pregnancies, I say we’ve earned a good laugh.

The Lady Part that Ate the 2012 Republican Convention after an abysmal few months harkens back to another bleak time in American history. I’m reminded of the 1970s Chiffon margarine commercial, in which Mother Nature herself, done up in a flowing white garb and daisy-chain crown, is peacefully tending her arboreal kingdom and eating what she thinks is a fat tub of butter, when a male voice from above tells her that what she’s really eating is margarine.

She is rightly enraged at having been deceived and her gentle outer demeanor gives way to the fierce goddess inside her. Something she holds dear has been messed with, and she’s not going to make nice. And so she stands up, raises her arms to create a crash of lightning, and roars, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”

Here’s hoping the people affected by Isaac remain safe over the next few days—and that the real power of the growing storm comes to pass a bit later, on Election Day.

  • Martin Luther

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