TV Pundit: Scott Brown's Campaign Destroyed by Coloring Books

 

Without a fourth debate to guide them, undecided voters are left with only a few things to help them decide between Elizabeth Warren and Scott Brown: online archives of the previous three debates who gave out better Halloween candy? At least, that’s the measuring stick Fox25′s Doug “VB” Goudie uses, and he’s pretty brutal to Scott Brown for giving out — duh, duh, DUHHHH — coloring books. Actually fans of  Goudie (usually just called VB) or anyone who reads his bio on the Fox25 website, will caution you against reading too deeply into anything he says – “VB is better known for his sense of humor, sarcasm and outrage,” the bio reads. Still, let’s emphasize the “outrage” in that description, because Scott Brown’s trick-or-treater offerings are basically the Senator’s Watergate, according to this guy:

If you’re undecided and you realize that Scott Brown is handing out coloring books – coloring books! … That is an absolute utter outrage. By the way, if I was a kid trick-or-treating at that house, I guarantee that thing would be rolled up immediately and thrown into their bushes.

There is a caveat, though, VB says, and it is this: Scott Brown was also giving out candy, “which is great.” But never mind that. A note to aspiring politicians: THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR DISTRIBUTING ANYTHING WITH PAGES AND A BINDING. He continues:

This is symptomatic of Brown where he’s trying to do too much and be everything to everybody. “I got the big candy bar but have some literature too.” Ugh!

We’re not sure the tough intellectual rigors of coloring books, with their demands that we stay within the lines, quite qualify them for membership in the western canon, but nevertheless, when the history books tell the story of Sen. Scott Brown’s defeat, they will need but one word: Crayola-gate.