Well, we’ve found it. The ultimate test of how big an unyielding, diehard, Yankee-hating, Red Sox-loving Masshole you are: Can you watch this clip of Yankees closer Mariano Rivera leaving the mound at Yankee Stadium for the last time without getting inappropriately verklempt at your desk?
Rivera announced he would retire earlier this season. So Thursday night, Yankees manager Joe Girardi brought him into the game in the eighth inning, had him retire some batters, then with two outs in the ninth, took him out early so that Yankee Stadium could say their farewell. But isntead of doing it himself, he sent Derek Jeter and Andy Pettitte to the mound. Things get … well, your contact lenses might really start bothering you’re eyes. Just some allergies, or something, is all.
There are probably two schools of Yankee haters in Red Sox Nation: those who make no exceptions, and those who can admit to hating the Yankees but having a bit of a soft spot for players like Mo. If you watch this and feel nothing, congratulations, you are a truly pure, uncorrupted Masshole. And if you did feel something, don’t feel too guilty. The Yanks still lost.