Citizens Disconnect: A Porn Epidemic!

A roundup of our favorite requests for city services in the past week.

With the Citizens Connect app and website, Boston allows its residents to take a picture of a problem, send it to the city along with their precise location, and request help. The site is filled with complaints about trash on the sidewalk, potholes, and dead trees. It also contains the occasional oddity. Welcome to “Citizens Disconnect,” the series wherein we round up our favorite few from the past week:

A Porn Epidemic!

Someone is posting porn all around Boston! Okay, not actual pornography, but the word  “porn” in various forms has turned up several times. And people (a single person?) are asking the city to remove it this week. Here are just three of the many examples reported:

Complaint #1: “and another tag from porn!”

CD1

Complaint #2: “i love porno sticker. surace at state next to PANERA.”

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Complaint #3: “porns is all the rage. catch this tagger!”

CD3

The city’s response has mostly been to remove the graffiti. Puritans!

You Take That Back About Bon Me

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Concerned Citizen: “Food truck ‘Bon Me’ is below my window. I get food smells which are offensive. Please relocate it now.”

Excuse me? ‘Bon Me’ smells offensive?! You’re offensive! This is offensive. If ‘Bon Me’ made a miso-braised pulled pork Glade plug-in, we’d buy the shit out of it. We’d even remember to replace it once a month. “Relocate Bon Me.” Psh. That’s all we say to that. Psh. Good day, sir.

We Got This, Farrell.

CD5

Concerned citizen: “’John Farrell is not allowed to buy his own beer in this town ever again!’ Please sign this ordinance into law immediately.”

City response: “Closed. Case Noted.”

Noted? Well that’s a non-response if ever we’ve heard one. Is there or is there not an ordinance in the works, Citizens Disconnect?

Weekly Award for Overzealous Desire for Native Trees

That prize goes to whoever photographed every single treeless spot of dirt in Boston and reported it to the city:

CD6 

Concerned Citizen: “Please plant a native tree in this empty tree well!”

Don’t even think of planting a palm tree, y’hear?

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