Q&A #7: When Will Joe Kennedy III Become President?

“John” asks:

In the spirit of the day, will JPK the third ever run for president and who will be on the dem and rep potus/vpotus tickets in 2016

I’ve got this all sussed out, on the Joe Kennedy III front.

Hillary Clinton, in exchange for the full-fledged support of the national Elizabeth Warren cultists, promises to make Warren head of something wicked cool in her administration; she goes on to win, appoints E-Dubs, and little Joe wins the umpteenth Massachusetts special US Senate election. Actually, what will happen is that first the state legislature will try to change the Senate succession law yet again, to prevent Governor Baker from getting to make a temporary appointment; Baker will veto; finally all sides will decide that everybody’s so tired of special elections that they’ll just change the law to say that available Kennedys get first right of refusal to all open U.S. Senate seats.

Anyway, Joe will serve as U.S. Senator for the remainder of Clinton’s two-term presidency. Then in January 2025 he will be appointed U.S. Attorney General, as a show of bipartisanship, by newly elected President Tagg Romney. Or possibly Josh, or even Craig—it’s possible we won’t actually be sure which one we elected. But definitely not the one with the light-colored hair.

Anyway, Joe will serve as AG for a couple of years, then resign in protest over something young Romney did, and storm off to rejoin the Peace Corps in Guatemala or somewhere.

He will then return in dramatic fashion, with dirt still on his trousers from building a life-saving water treatment facility earlier that day, to file at the last moment for the 2028 New Hampshire primary and challenge the Romney kid’s re-election. Kennedy wins.

So, the answer to your question is that Joe Kennedy III will become President in January 2029.

  • Guest

    lol Gov. Baker! good one.