Jerry Remy Does Not Like To Be Called a Bad Grandparent

Remy shot back at a Herald column that wondered whether he’s fit to see his granddaughter.

Associated Press

Associated Press

NESN Red Sox commentator Jerry Remy gave a fascinating interview to the Dennis & Callahan radio show that shed light on which criticisms gets most under his skin in the wake of his son Jared’s alleged murder.

Remy won’t be stepping down from his position at NESN, but he acknowledged the calls for him to quit,  the accusations that he failed as a parent, and the recent Globe investigation into his son Jared Remy’s criminal history. He only sounded an angry note when seemingly alluding to a Margary Eagan column in the Herald suggesting the Remys shouldn’t have partial custody of their granddaughter.

On Sunday, the Globe published a story detailing Jared Remy’s long criminal history. In a statement, Jerry Remy contested some of the details in the story. In a follow-up interview with Dan Shaugnessy, he confirmed he would stay on this season. On the Dennis & Callahan show, Remy wouldn’t elaborate on what he saw as factual errors in the Globe story, making certain to say several times that he didn’t blame the reporter for pursuing it. He sounded contrite when faced with those who hope he’ll step down. “I understand that and I expected that,” he told the radio hosts. He even saw eye to eye in ways with those who say he failed as a parent. “We did the best we possibly could. … We failed. It’s that plain and simple.”

Only when he got to the subject of his fitness to raise his granddaughter did he really forcefully push back against critics. A settlement recently gave the Remys the right to visitation with their granddaughter, Arianna. On Wednesday, Herald columnist Margary Eagan wrote:

I can’t understand why Jerry and Phoebe Remy have fought for custody of their granddaughter, Arianna. Look at the children they raised.

She detailed the criminal charges against all three Remy children through the years, saying it showed a pattern of bad parenting.

It leaves me wondering about Arianna’s visits to Jerry and Phoebe Remy’s home. Are Jared’s pictures on the mantel? Do the Remys know how to talk to her about her father and why he’s behind bars? Will they think it’s OK for her to talk to Jared by phone?

Will their judgment be so clouded by love and loyalty for their son that they’ll eventually decide it’s all right to take Arianna to visit Jared in prison?

Remy had some answers to those questions:

You know I read a column yesterday that comes out and says we’re bad parents and we shouldn’t even be allowed to see our granddaughter because what will we do, have pictures of our son all over the house? I mean we’re not stupid … It’s that kind of reporting that is disgusting to me because what are we going to do, bring our granddaughter into the house, show her pictures of daddy? Give me a break. Have her on the phone with him from the can? Give me a break. Take visitations to jail? Give me a break. I mean, we’re not stupid either. So it’s those kind of things that upset me a bit.

Regardless of where you fall on blaming Remy for enabling his son or believing he should step aside, it’s been sad to watch him publicly contend with how to treat a child who stands accused of horror and see where he finally draws a firm line and hits back at critics. That line, apparently, is his role as a grandfather.

  • http://www.fibrowitch.net Jan Dumas

    If we can’t convince NESN to drop him maybe if we boycott the many companies who hire him as a pitchman he might understand how Red Sox Nation feels.

    • Shoot BlueJay not Mockingbird

      what are the companies he represents? besides his own restaurants? happy to boycott. i don’t understand why there isn’t more outrage over this. especially from women. always an excuse, always explanations, free passes and justifications for this ugly side of sports. tell everyone the companies please.

      • http://www.fibrowitch.net Jan Dumas

        I have been looking, the game starts in a minute and I am going to write down every company he shills for during the game, and the sponsoring Red Sox companies.

  • Tony

    As a Yankee fan, my deepest sympathies go to Jerry and his spouse. It is difficult to walk away from your children when they break the law. It is apparent to me to Jared should have been sent to a mental institution to work out the devils that must grip his soul.

  • Margie Gunderson

    I think the questions about the environment Arianna will have at the Remy’s house are absolutely fair. The Remys have been visiting their son in jail, have been very indulgent of him, and could easily have a lapse in judgment by bringing the granddaughter for a visit, or a telephone conversation. I get that Remy felt trapped as a parent, but it’s incomprehensible to me that he felt it was okay to get his son a job working SECURITY for the Red Sox, given his son’s record of violence. Even if people think domestic violence is “not a big deal” (and I’ve seen many of them on message boards), you have to admit that Remy’s vicious attack on a 15 year old – when he was legally an adult – is horrifying. (The boy sustained life threatening injuries and never fully recovered.) Jared should have been incarcerated long ago. I’m amazed that his dad put his son in a position where he could easily abuse his authority and be violent. Ignorance and naivete only go so far.

  • NWBL

    He doesn’t like to be called a bad grandparent? Well he is. He funded his son’s defense of violence toward Arianna’s mother and other women for years. Now he is funding Jared’s murder of Arianna’s mother. And inserting himself into motherless Arianna’s life. He should stay out of her life in terms of contact, send her the funds he is sending her father, and donate his time and money to a domestic violence organization.

  • Ethan Winter

    I think Jerry is getting unfairly criticized for “enabling” his son Jared. What Jared did is horrible and he should have gone to a mental institution long ago, but I don’t understand why people are getting so angry for loving and supporting his son as a parent. No matter how angry or disappointed kids make their parents, their parents will never stop loving them unconditionally. What Remy is doing as a parent is what I would expect any parent to do for their child.

    • CPLNH23

      How about his other two kids who also have criminal records for violent offenses? Does that make him more of an enabler? Sure looks that way to me, we call that a pattern when it applies to all of your children.

  • MAB

    From the comments I have just read,it seems that some people are of the belief that if your children are just about as bad as your worst night mare then you should be banned from having life. No one ever told Marlon Brando he should stop making movies when his son was involved in a murder !

    Careers that take you away from home make it difficult to be parent of the year. Maybe, some of these people should speak with parents in the military. There is some real bad parenting going on there.

    PS. How many of these holier than thou fans have music by abuser
    Chris Brown ?

  • OLD PIZZA

    When you’re a parent, which I suspect many of you are not, you have a hard time just abandoning any of your children no matter what they’ve done. Parents understand that. Non-parents do not.

  • dewooded

    Man there’s got to be a screw loose somewhere in those genetics.