Tinder, But for Getting Strangers to Shovel Out Your Car

On a whim, I decided to see if I could use Tinder to get someone to shovel out my car. And it worked.

At first, I was responsible. When it snowed, I shoveled. When my neighbor threw a pile on the hood of my Honda Fit, I didn’t complain. Too much. But at least I still dug out my car.

I didn’t start to consider taking an unusual course of action until about the second or third big storm, when a stomach bug meant the snow piled up, and the mushy sludge along the side of the car turned into a wall of ice. With Boston being in the quasi-apocalyptic state that it’s in, more snow was on the way, and my car was at risk of becoming one of those ambiguous-looking mounds. I had to do something. And fast.

before

Photo by Susan Zalkind

I’ve used Tinder before, but, you know, the “normal” way. I’ve scanned through area singles who mostly consist of grad students, firefighters, and an assortment of men posing on boats with large fish. I’ve gone on dates, and they haven’t all been terrible.

But for some reason—maybe it was that stomach bug or maybe just because of the times we’re living in—on a whim, I decided to see if I could use Tinder to get someone to shovel out my car. To avoid confusion, I made my terms crystal clear:

susan

I swiped right exactly a dozen times. Instead of looking for men I was necessarily attracted to, I looked for men who seemed especially wholesome. (If only this Venn diagram had a greater overlap, perhaps I wouldn’t be in this predicament at all.) In less than 15 minutes, I got 11 matches and three offers. It probably helped that it was the Friday before Valentine’s Day. I checked that my roommate would be home, and moved forward on a first come, first shovel basis.

Luckily for me, the first person who responded was a 38-year-old man I’ll call Ted. “Brilliant!” he opened. “I can offer a shoveled driveway.” I told him it was nothing too dramatic, and he said he would stop by the next morning. I gave him my address. Or at least, an address that was somewhat near mine. Ted seemed too good to be true. I was skeptical.

He proved me wrong. The next morning, he showed up with a shovel and an ice pick, and he did not kill me. He got to work shoveling out my car while I picked up a coffee and a scone for him. I don’t live very close to a café, so I was gone for about 45 minutes. When I came back, my car was mostly shoveled out. I helped, we chatted—mostly about his ex—and before I knew it, my car was free. Ted wasn’t creepy at all. I think he just got a kick out of being chivalrous and having a little company on Valentine’s Day.

Photo by Susan Zalkind

I’ve come to learn that the trick to using Tinder to get strangers to shovel out your car may be to find someone exactly like Ted because my next attempts did not go quite as smoothly. Soon after Ted left, the region was slammed by Neptune, and my car was buried under another foot of snow, plus whatever my neighbor tossed its way. This time, when I swiped right a dozen times, I got six matches, one invitation to make a pornographic film, and one offer to shovel on the condition of hot cocoa but with no follow up. So I swiped four more times and luckily enough, got four matches and four offers.

“Susan, I am skilled with a shovel,” the first guy told me. “I can shovel cars, roofs, and old lady’s sidewalks.” But when he proceeded to ask me if I was interested in a long-term or short-term shoveling job, I realized he had missed my point entirely.

“I’m literally looking for someone to dig out my car that’s covered with snow and parked on the street,” I explained.

“Wouldn’t Craigslist be a better spot for you?”

I moved on and absent-mindedly swiped right on a Thursday night while painting my nails. The odds weren’t looking good. None of my matches were writing me. But then I got a note from a man I’ll call Ken, a very good looking 28 year-old tax consultant with an interest in home renovation.

He told me he was looking for a woman who could also be his best friend. Sigh. And then, after exchanging messages for about an hour, he told me he’d come over and shovel that weekend. But on Friday, the wind chill was 14 degrees below zero, and Ken, it seems, had turn just as cold. He stopped writing.

Heartbroken, with more snow on the way and a renewed sense of urgency, I started swiping right with abandon. Over the course of two-and-a-half episodes of Empire, I made 74 right swipes, got 35 matches, and 11 offers to shovel. Nine of the offers were from dudes who either lived too far away, were too creepy, or weren’t serious. There were only two reliable contenders: a friendly looking exercise fanatic and university IT specialist with whom I have a mutual friend.

I went with the IT specialist, a 29-year-old I’ll call Brian. We wrote back and forth for a little bit and it sounded like he was looking for a somewhat serious relationship. Instead of abandoning him to go get coffee, I made strawberry banana muffins so I could spend a little more time getting to know what he was all about.

 

Photo by Susan Zalkind

The next afternoon Brian came over and got to work. Sparks weren’t exactly flying, but I tried to keep an open mind—that is, until he told me he had a wife. I watched him dig his shovel into a heavy mound of ice chunks, as he explained this whole open relationship thing. In another situation, the wife thing would have been a deal-breaker. But so long as he kept digging, at least it wasn’t a total waste of my time.

 

Photo by Susan Zalkind

  • Jerome

    Leave chemistry to the lab. Flirting in exchange for labor is weak. Pay cash for snow shoveling. A contract with limits is implied and understood. The job gets done and everyone leaves the encounter unscathed. This was a creative try all the same.

    • Noah

      Yea, if it’s creative, why care? She was bored (shocker…Tinder) and was messing around.

      It seems she could have shoveled her car out and saved time.

  • TheVolCo

    This is actually a pretty interesting foray into the service community. I manage volunteers for a large non-profit and I often am curious what ways I’m NOT trying…clearly Tinder has its ups and downs. BUT what if there a way to connect needs and individuals who can fill them. I know sites like taskrabbit exist….but that’s not quite the same. Hmmmm…

  • Israel Piedra

    Regardless of how clear you made your intentions, you knew quite well that you were taking advantage of your moderate attractiveness to convince desperate men looking for a quid pro quo. I am sure you and your friends had a good laugh about how pathetic men are, but the real loser in this story is you. Hopefully when you hit thirty in a couple years there are still a few men out there who don’t think YOU are a “total waste of time.”

    • sticksandstones

      She was very upfront about what she was looking for and didn’t lead anybody on. Why so bitter?

      • achtung14

        “Nothing complicated, no strings attached…” kinda/sorta sounds like sex…

        • justpassingby

          except for the part before that where she definitely only said shoveling…

          • achtung14

            You don’t say “no strings attached” when the person is doing YOU a favor. It’s like saying “Will you make me a sandwich? No strings attached.” It doesn’t make sense.

            It makes sense to say “Want me to make you a sandwich? No strings attached.”

            Also……it was on TINDER ffs…

          • justpassingby

            yeah, no. it sounds like there are just a bunch of men who deliberately misinterpreted what she said because hey, they wanted more! but guess what? that’s THEIR fault. not hers, ffs…

          • achtung14

            Yeah, yeah. Sorry, snark is not an argument and you’re in a tiny minority of people who agree with her. So, either a professional writer doesn’t know the plain meaning of words and mangles her syntax or she was deliberately misleading. The latter is more likely [although, to be fair, she could just be a poor writer].

          • Newton Throwaway

            They were half right if she was choosing based on standards other than arm-strength.

          • Gene Kim

            It’s Tinder you moron.

          • Newton Throwaway

            Except for the part after where she talked about her ‘standards’ and ‘deal breakers’ in the article…

      • Newton Throwaway

        She was not upfront at all. She said nothing about what’s in it for the guy. She also wasn’t honest, she may have said ‘nothing serious no strings attached’ if you read the article, she clearly places value on certain attributes that what she’s looking for might not slightly be the same as ‘no strings attached’. Why would she care about sparks flying? I mean if she wants the potential possibility of seeing how things go and use the opportunity to meet to people, possibly friendship or romantic, she can say that. But that’s not the same as ‘no strings attached’.

        Also adding ‘will buy coffee and a treat’ wouldn’t have hurt. “Please shovel out my car”… and then what? Give me one reason why I would want to do that? Even if it’s small, but it’s better than nothing. That phrasing would have me swipe left faster than anything.

        • Noah

          She was 100% upfront. Seriously, read her profile.

          The guys are adults. Grown men.

    • kwjboston

      Sounds like someone needs a hug. *hug*

    • somsai

      I think she’s already well acquainted with 30 and looking downhill to 45.

  • jimmyt

    she should date the first guy

    • xam

      The first guy should not date her though.

  • http://remixinglife.blogspot.fi/ lr52185

    I’d have shoveled for a beer or a donut.

  • JJKOOLKID

    I don’t understand the point of this article. You used a dating app, twice, to get guys to shovel your car for you. Sooo, you wanted to see if guys would be nice while you yourself were implicitly being misleading?

    By using a dating app, you are creating the implication that you are looking to potentially date someone who will first shovel out your car. But, you are taking a literary stance like you were NOT looking for that and then surprised when guys thought you were.

    That’s like me dressing up as Santa Clause at Xmas time, ringing a bell with a red bucket, hanging a sign that says “For a Good Cause” and seeing if anyone will give me free money. Then acting shocked if they believed I was with the Red Cross.

    Sounds like you took advantage of a couple of nice guys. Lame.

  • Lisa Marie Garver

    I think this is hilarious men have been using chivalry and other such nonsense to get what they want forever–why can’t you? p.s.

    give Ted a call. #teamted

    • Noah

      She’s using chivalry?

      #teamted

      • guitarfan29

        No, this lady above is a moron.

  • Tina

    Hahaha I love this, you go girl! I think the comments calling this “weak” are pointless. You didn’t force anyone to do a thing. They offered, and you accepted, with a decent conversation and a potential friendship (or not). The idea is pretty similar to calling a friend over to help you out, instead, you called a stranger and got to know one more person in the big, busy, money-obsessed world. It could’ve been a cute first date if you found someone fun.
    Just because she didn’t pay the guy but baked muffins or got coffee makes her polite, rather than “using someone because she’s pretty”. Calm down guys!

    • Ryan Clarke

      It is kind of funny. It makes us all the more happy about stringing a girl along, banging her a few times, and then not returning her texts. (all the while ignoring bitter ugly-girls) All’s fair. Cheers.

      • justpassingby

        that is not at all the same as what happened here, and i feel sorry for you if you can’t tell the difference.

        • Razerzpeed

          Thats EXACTLY what happened. and I urge guys in the vicinity to date this gal and drop her like a bad habit.

          • Janet Wilkinson

            I agree if this girl wants to treat men like crap, then its only fair that men return the favour 10x.

            Two can play at that game.

          • Newton Throwaway

            I’ll get back to you with the full report after I match with her. Would you be up for a bet?

          • Newton Throwaway

            She lives near me and has mutual friends with me, I was kind of hoping to match so I could do just that and have a little teasy fun. I’m also one of the more advantaged guys on Tinder… so it might be one of those things worth making a bet on, while doing pretty much what Ryan Clarke said.

            And blog about it after.

            No regrets.

    • guitarfan29

      Because remember, guys have to be super fun, super awesome, alpha male stud machines. Ladies need sparks!!!!!!!1111

    • BioX

      “rather than “using someone because she’s pretty” ”
      Much like shes using Men to do things she should be able to do herself? But shes a female so its “all cool” then, right? Do you want to come over and fold my clothes and clean my appartment? Your a female so you should be able to do these things for me, cause thats what you’re good for? Right? See the double standard here?

      • Tina

        You’ve missed the point. She didn’t force anyone. She made it clear from day one that she is looking for help. She did not lure the guy and END up using him to do her work. I would be on your side if she pretended to have a date then asked this as a favor. She asked and whichever guy wanted to, offered his help. Similarly, if a guy needed help with a recipe or baking something for idk, his mom, I wouldn’t mind helping if I was free. He’d ask and I’d offer to help.

        • Newton Throwaway

          I think you’re missing something. Did you read the article? Pretty sure the “no-strings-attached” bit, rather than being a ‘disclaimer’, was actually BS move to mask what she’s doing and make it seem rational.

          Think about this, Tina: If she was looking for getting a job done and nothing more, then what would be the deal with all her ‘standards’? Why does she care if guys are married, or have ‘deal-breaker’s, or be concerned with whether ‘sparks are flying’? The only standards she should have, if any, are good arm-strength, and… well, that’s it. Why do you think she cared about the other things?

          Simple, she was after the easiest possible manipulatable target, hence why being married would have been a ‘deal breaker’. No, she wanted someone *desperate* for human contact who would give their left testicle for a human contact with the opposite sex. Wouldn’t settle for any less. Notice how she ‘next’ed everyone who so much as asked what’s in it for him, because she could immediately tell they were too smart/stable. She wanted emotionally vulnerable men who would be too intimidated to ask any questions.

  • Citizen

    This comment has been removed for violating our commenting policy.

  • JR

    I fully expect you to engage a male writer to use tinder and craigslist to try to get a woman to clean and fold his underwear.

    • xam

      No, just keep telling her that you really really think she’s the one then bounce.

  • http://www.edayrescomedy.com/ smooth edward

    As an older man, I find it difficult to believe men are responding to this sort of thing. Shoveling someone’s car out should be reserved for someone you really know, not just date bait. I think this is a horrible thing to do to men.

  • Newton Throwaway

    Wow, a new low has certainly been reached. I actually find this
    offensive to any self-respecting man that someone would use a dating app
    for this, rather than, as someone said, Craigslist.

    But really, let’s focus on a few things:
    1.
    You may be “clear” in the description what you’re looking for, but it
    sounds like you’re constantly flip-flopping back and forth with it. Why
    are you worrying about standards for people do do a simple job? Plus,
    you never said what they get in return for it. Because let’s face it, no
    self-respecting man is gonna go out of his way to do laborous work for a
    random stranger, unless they had some way to benefit from it. Money? A
    date? The fun of meeting someone new and see if you might potentially
    hit it off? The last seems like the case, but that kind of contradicts
    your whole ‘no-strings-attached’ mantra. Why are you worrying about
    whether ‘sparks flew’? Sure you bought some coffee, but you might have
    had quicker luck if you stated in your description what’s in it for the
    guy, instead of sounding like a spoiled princess making demands. Though
    I’m sure you were well aware of the fact that desperate men who would do
    it exist. Still, taking advantage of that (as well as your
    attractiveness for it, like someone said), is a pretty shitty thing to
    do and says a lot about you as a person.

    2. Why are you offended
    at things like ‘the condition of hot cocoa’, when you bought them
    coffee? If anything, a man *should* be putting himself first, and like I
    said you not offering anything in the ad is actually pretty
    astonishing. It never ceases to amaze me the level of entitlement some
    women have: Only they’re allowed to offer, but if a man asks for
    something in exchange for a favor, even non-sexual, he’s a disrespectful
    misogynist. Ick. How dare he ask for hot cocoa! “Just please shovel out
    my car”. Oh, but you said please so you get a pass. Haha

    3. A few more gems:
    >’“Susan, I am skilled with a shovel,” the first guy told me. “I can
    shovel cars, roofs, and old lady’s sidewalks.” But when he proceeded to
    ask me if I was interested in a long-term or short-term shoveling job, I
    realized he had missed my point entirely.’
    No no, my dear, I think
    it sounds like you missed his. That was his way of simply asking what’s
    in it for him, and you blew him off. Classy.
    It sounds like you blew off the guy who made the Craigslist suggestion when he actually had a valid point.

    Ugh,
    I’m embarrassed that you’re from the same hometown as me and have five
    mutual friends with me. And also the thought that anyone in the area I
    know might have been taken advantage of, makes me sick.

    • Noah

      It’s Tinder, there’s no moral rules…

      • Newton Throwaway

        There is moral rules for bragging about something in a publication on Boston Magazine, though.

        • Noah

          I’m not sure this made the magazine?

          Regardless, where are those rules?

          More to the point….it’s Tinder.

        • Noah

          What are they?

  • Hal Emmerich

    You are what is wrong with the world. You took advantage of people who were desperate for human contact (read: using Tinder) and systematically included the actual sincere ones for your experiment, leaving only the creeps.

    I sincerely hope your 15 minutes of fame are worth it, because I have a pretty good feeling your name online is going to be associated with this article for some time, and the internet has a long memory Ms Zalkind.

  • Craig Jackson

    A Lifetime movie in the making if there ever was one…..HAH!

  • Tammy

    You are horrible. I’m sure you know it.

  • Cassy_Again

    Oh for heaven’s sake. These men weren’t children. She said she wanted the car shoveled out and that’s what they did. Maybe they were hoping for a love connection, but the second guy was married, so *if* he was (and I am not convinced he was), that’s his tough luck. It’s cheaper than paying for dinner and wasting two hours talking to someone you don’t want to be with.

    I had a guy I barely know ask me to make him a Hawaiian dessert for a staff dinner party he was taking a date to one time. I made it. I had no interest in dating the guy. He had no interest in me. He just couldn’t cook.

    • Jack

      That’s the difference. You didn’t have an interest in him. You didn’t meet the guy on a dating site so there was no expectation of some kind of a relationship. Now these guys, they met her on a dating website. She even states she spent quite a bit of time talking to these people. She even uses the term no strings attached. And a married guy replied and shoveled the snow. There have been countless women tricked by men, or by your definition, they knew exactly what was going on, for sex. No one here is even doubting the guys were assholes. Not even I doubt the guy was an asshole. But the fact that she could write some like this on the Boston Magazine and still have people defending her actions is absurd.

    • Natalius

      This story could have been a fun little tale of a woman using her ingenuity to take an app meant for one thing, and then use it for another.

      Then she jumped on the “I’m going to get raped/killed” bandwagon.

      I wonder if any of those guys who help her out can be linked the story and see that she equated them to potential rapists and murderers for no good reason.

      • sugarunicorn

        You should be using caution when meeting complete strangers from the internet regardless of gender.

        • xam

          Sex you mean ? Because some lady with a mullet and a t shirt isn’t going to so shut anyways.

    • Newton Throwaway

      Did the guy find you on a dating site? Or at the very least, did you make it for him as a stranger?

  • D.B

    I think it’s a brilliant way to see how someone really is.

  • Ohone

    Good idea.

    Im going to use my tinder to find kind heartedm wholesome women to do no strings traditional womens work for me – if they are kind enough to agree, I will dishonestly give them the wrong address, somewhere close by …

    Wonder how it will work out for me, anyone care to speculate?

  • unapologetictruth

    Mgtow.

  • Fraga123

    Why can’t you shovel your own damn car? What the hell is wrong with you?

    • Bill Brasky

      She’s a woman. Women are literally not required to have any skills besides being moderately attractive.

  • Chairborne

    “Instead of looking for men I was necessarily attracted to, I looked for
    men who seemed especially wholesome. (If only this Venn diagram had a
    greater overlap, perhaps I wouldn’t be in this predicament at all.)”

    That’s the most distilled, pure concentrated Red Pill I’ve read in a while. Shows just how women view Alphas vice Betas.

    And the women of the world wonder, “where have all the good men gone?” Seems there were a couple left in Boston anyways – but not for much longer I expect.

  • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpF6MahmQnuDg7nYQ6k3mqg Miles Adams

    This, right here, is why I have nothing to do with women at all.

    • sugarunicorn

      And women the world over sighed in relief.

      • Razerzpeed

        This lady will get used in return for the way she used these betas…..and you will be paid back for your insults as well…you will remember this conversation when next ill fortune befalls you.

        • sugarunicorn

          Oh, honey. Bless your heart.

          • Newton Throwaway

            Is that you Susan?

          • sugarunicorn

            Did you really make a throwaway account just to comment on this article? Isn’t that what you redpill types would call…. “beta”? lmfao.

          • Newton Throwaway

            Lol, so everyone who isn’t a fan of what she’s doing is ‘Redpill’? Might want to get a reality check… pretty sure that’s common sense.

            Also, might want to look at what you’re saying in here, some of your words are pretty insolent.

          • sugarunicorn

            Ah yes, because the desperate threats and misogynistic rants by folks like your friend Razer up there are sooo worthy of respect.

          • Newton Throwaway

            He’s one person, you’re generalizing everyone who doesn’t like what she’s doing by calling me that. And I’ve got new for you, it doesn’t automatically make them a misogynist if they’re not a fan of it, because as you noticed, a good amount of women in the comments here hold the same sentiments.

            It seems like even them calling you out on it doesn’t help you realize that you’re wrong, and pretty much alone on this. The fact that you’re blaming MensRights for this even furthers that sentiment.

            So yes, a lot of the comments not backing her up, are indeed worthy of respect.

          • Son of Efreet

            She was using a dating app to take advantage of well intentioned but desperate and naive men, you thick, sweaty, blue-haired, inked up beast!

          • sugarunicorn

            Whut. Did this get necroposted on /r/mensrights or something? Cuz this post is over a year old. Also… I’m blonde and have zero tattoos. You lost, bro?

          • xam

            Labelling is a bully tactic btw…

      • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpF6MahmQnuDg7nYQ6k3mqg Miles Adams

        Amazing how that sigh always sounds like “B-b-but where have all the good men gone?”

  • justpassingby

    if her profile still isn’t considered up front or clear enough for some men (like most commenting here) to understand, i’m doubting there’s anything we could ever say to get our point across, about anything. there was nothing unfair about this; she didn’t hold a gun to anyone’s head and she’s not responsible for any expectations that some of the men had outside of what her profile said. i’m definitely team ted on this one; he sounds like a nice guy.

    • VictoryMonk

      Come on, she said “no strings attached”. It can be easily [and reasonably] interpreted as casual sex, rather than no sex! As I said in my comment, if she had posted it on Facebook, then how many guys would show up?

    • Razerzpeed

      Thats fine…as long as you realize that COSBY didnt HOLD A GUN to the heads of the ladies that claimed he HANDED THEM A PILL AND THEY ATE IT. …Those women are fully responsible for everything that happened afterwords. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

      • sugarunicorn

        Seek help, dude.

        • Razerzpeed

          Feminists HATE having to take a heaping spoonful of the medicine that THEY dish out……lol

  • VictoryMonk

    Next time you hear the word misogyny, start laughing and link to this article.

    • Bill Brasky

      Thank God I’m a misogynist. I could’ve been one of the chumps in this story.

  • VictoryMonk

    The most disturbing thing here is that she used a social media designed for dating and having casual sex! Yes, those men are grown up adults and are responsible for their action. But there is no denying she led them. Sorry, misled them. How do I know that? Try to post the same thing on Facebook or Twitter. Let’s see how that’s gonna work out.

  • Natalius

    Reposting a reply to someone because it just makes so god damn much sense on its own:

    This story could have been a fun little tale of a woman using her
    ingenuity to take an app meant for one thing, and then use it for
    another.

    Then she jumped on the “I’m going to get raped/killed” bandwagon.

    I wonder if any of those guys who help her out can be linked the story
    and see that she equated them to potential rapists and murderers for no
    good reason.

  • Burn Ender

    God damn mangina’s, at least demand money if you’re going to do that shit.

  • WtfIsWrongWithYou

    Boston Magazine is shit for running this kind of garbage. Would they run this if a man did this?

  • ouchmuch

    And this gentlemen is exactly what women think of you, you are a tool to be used and once finished tossed aside and viewed as a potential criminal.
    Seems the saying I used to hear growing up is true “No good deed goes unpunished”, I think it is well beyond the point were men need to just step away and insist these empowered women take care of themselves.
    As for this ungrateful harpy I do truly hope this atitude comes back to haunt her.

  • BioX

    Hmm.. No female on tinder seems to want to come cook food for me cause im an grown child that cant take care of mundane duties that comes with owning a frying pan… Ugh.. when will i ever find a female to help me with these adult things i should know by now!

  • Paul Jackson

    Congratulations guys you’ve just reinforced the view of this entitled little princess, that men are just utilities.

  • tippy

    This just proves while it’s horrible when women get objectified, but this shit is literally making men her utility.

  • NWOslave

    Women using the innuendo of sex and companionship for profit and manipulation? What a shocker.

    • karenstraughanlyingPOS

      How to put a bi itch in check: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAIyhfHt188

    • Non

      “Men” getting upset every time women break the mold of subservience and ask for men to help them?

      wow. much butthurt.

      • Janet Wilkinson

        But its not just men, as a woman I find her behaviour disgusting. It’s the equivalent of saying “I will try and get whatever I can out this person regardless of their desires”

        As a result men will see this as validation to treat women like crap in the future.

        • sugarunicorn

          Like a sizable number of them needed any validation anyways. The assholes who treat women like trash were gonna do it anyways, regardless of the actions of a singular woman on the east coast who had 2 men from tindr shovel her car. Get real.

          But then again, this article has been invaded and brigaded by /r/mensrights, so I can’t expect much rational discussion the subject.

          • Janet Wilkinson

            So your irrational view is “all men treat women like trash so why shouldn’t women do it to” ? Because that sounds like

            1. You clearly have issues.

            2. You like generalising an entire gender

            3. You have some kind of beef with people from and I am going on memory here… reddit ?

            Perhaps if you started posting rational things and stop generalising people that come from reddit people would post rational things back.

            Instead you have posted aggressive nonsense which makes you look like a troll.

          • sugarunicorn

            Last I checked “sizable number” does not mean “all”. Please read the post you’re replying to in full and save yourself the time of typing a multi paragraph rant irrelevant to the topic at hand, next time.

          • Newton Throwaway

            Christ, people like you are what’s wrong with society. Go back to SRS and rationalize this kind of behavior there.

          • Gene Kim

            You meant #notallmen retardunicorn

          • Newton Throwaway

            Yep, everyone you don’t agree with is automatically a brigade… guess that includes the ladies too?

            Grow up.

          • sugarunicorn

            This article was literally linked from /r/mensrights and immediately flooded with the typical comments and voting patterns. Get real, dude.

          • Newton Throwaway

            Also, I should add, there was a thread about on /r/okcupid before it even hit /r/mensrights (check the dates they were submitted even yourself), and just about everyone there had the same sentiments as the comments here.

            And, /r/okcupid is very much anti-mensrights/redpill. You can often get downvoted there for even mentioning them. Trust me, I’m a regular on that one.

            So… might want to think a bit rationally before blaming it on that and telling people to ‘get real’.

          • xam

            You simply can’t provide and rational discussion. She was manipulative and unscrupulously self interested. Everyone who isn’t a feminist can see that clearly and agrees that it is distasteful behaviour at best. It’s not the world it’s you.

      • Ohone

        You are mistaken. Men helping women out with traditional male work is old as the hills.

      • Fake Mustache

        You don’t get that traditional courtship is men being subservient? Buying drinks? Buying dinner? Opening doors? Pulling out chairs? ALL of human courtship is male submission to women.

        This woman isn’t “breaking the mold”. She’s abusing social programming that makes men gregarious towards women they want to court. She’s taking their services and not offering the customary date, kiss, romance, etc for it.

        • justpassingby

          kisses, dates, and romance are not customary or owed, in any way (especially from someone who made it clear they weren’t offering that). seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?

          • Bill Brasky

            Shut up. You know what they meant. Don’t focus on the wrong part of the story just because you don’t have an argument against the rest.

  • Non

    I don’t know if you can consider it using men. She was up front with what she needed, no sugarcoating it, which was help with snow removal. If guys didn’t want to do it, they can decline. Some guys like just helping people out.

    She spent time talking to the men and gave them baked goods as a thank you. I don’t think she was using them at all.

    • Janet Wilkinson

      Except it was on a dating site. Any other site you might of been able to stretch the definition, on a dating site its just exploiting mens desire to meet someone.

    • Newton Throwaway

      Sup Susan?

  • Socrates1998

    Congrats, you just spread a bunch of ill will over the internet. Everyman that reads this will probably help women less because of you.

    • Bill Brasky

      Good. Women need to be coddled less. This is the result of 50 years of it.

    • El Payaso

      Good. Women want to be treated as “equal” only in the parts that are convenient to them.

  • Marginalized Dad

    I would have went there to shovel more snow onto her car.

  • gukygu

    Fucking whore.

  • trudatness

    The thirst is real. Some men are pathetically desperate. I would never answer a dating ad request to shovel snow.

  • The Thinker

    Only proves how desperate men in America are.

  • Marry Ann Nichols

    “I watched him dig his shovel into a heavy mound of ice chunks, as he
    explained this whole open relationship thing. In another situation, the
    wife thing would have been a deal-breaker. But so long as he kept
    digging, at least it wasn’t a total waste of my time.”

    I can’t tell if you really feel this entitled, or you’re just trying to stoke the rage to get more views.

    • Isaac

      I am actually thinking that she is being incendiary on purpose. She is a smart woman, who is a journalist, and I am starting to think that controversy is good for her.

      Although I find her use of dating sites and attitude towards men off putting I did look her up and read other things she has written despite never having heard of her before…So mabey it is working and controversy is good… This got her work to the top of investing article lists online…

  • Janet Wilkinson

    Its no surprise so many young women of this generation are being left single these days when this is the type of behaviour they exhibit…

  • Isaac

    This woman knew exactly what she was doing – advertising her body and potential companionship to use men as a utility without good faith. Although she “had an open mind” she did not intend on pursuing any type of relationship with these men even though it is implied. She maintained “literal high ground” by following through her words literally. She knew that men on a dating site are looking for women to date and “no strings attached” is commonly understood sexual innuendo.

    People do things expecting something in return – be it payment, friendship, potential friendship, because they like helping out, etc. She skipped people that asked what was in it for them and settled on the men too timid to ask! It is absurd to think that somebody browsing a dating site is looking for people that need their car shoveled – it is rational to think they are looking for a date or a hookup! The person that wants to help people remove snow is probably walking up the street holding a shovel.

    I laugh at the double standard – women would be angry/disgusted if a young attractive male investment banker posted an ad on Tinder aimed at women that said, “Single Investment Banker in a doorman building – hungry and my clothes are dirty. Looking for someone to make me dinner and wash my clothes, no strings attached.” After he chose someone to make his dinner and do his laundry (note: female domestic duties) he decided he wanted nothing further with them.

    • Joshua Benjamin

      You are wise beyond your years.

    • justpassingby

      you know what you do when you see someone seeking a snow shoveler, and you have no interest in shoveling snow? you move on. also, i don’t really see the problem with the example in your last paragraph; just as in this case, the offer was clearly made, and was open for the taking. do you really believe that these men were a) incapable of comprehending her profile and b) so weak willed they couldn’t refuse, absolutely not? you realize that comments that suggest this are insulting to the men you’re claiming to defend, right?

      • Isaac

        What is more insulting, admithing these men are weak willed and vulnerable or taking advantage of this fact?

        We usually look down upon people that take advantage of other people. In the dating world implied communication is more relevant than actual words….The author chose the tactic and it worked due to a combination of vulnerable people and implied meaning. She gets to think of herself as clever by hanging her hat on the literal language.

      • Newton Throwaway

        Men with those A and B traits you listed do exist, yes, and it may be insulting to them to describe them as such. But, at the same time, it’s also not entirely their fault they’re like that. Could be attributed to social background, upbringing, mental disorder, you name it. But either way, the general consensus is that as long as they did it, they are of the traits you described. I mean that’s debateable, but why else would anyone go out of their way for a labor request ad that doesn’t even offer a reward?

        But either way, whether they’re like that or not, Susan implied in the article that she was selecting who to message based on the likeliness of having those exact traits, which means *she* saw them as like that… which is what we’re saying. She wanted the most naive, weak-willed men possible, hence why she ‘next’ed everyone who showed the tiniest bit of self respect, like asking a question.

      • xam

        Those men should be insulted. They are low. So is she. You understand that right ?

  • Fraga123

    Tinder, But For Getting Strange Babes to Lick Your Balls.

    • Bill Brasky

      So Tinder.

  • Isaac

    If this was written to increase online exposure to the author and advance her career I tip my hat – good move. If she didn’t realize this is a matter of viewing desperate people as an appliance, well, we all have done things we aren’t proud of and this is a funny story.

    If after reading all these comments she still thinks this type of behavior is clever, justifiable, and not generally mean that saddens me.

  • kobebryant243

    Man I will never understand feminists audacity to talk about “male privilege” after reading this post. ever. SMH

  • cfc912

    Well, at least she readily admits that the alpha guys who don’t want to fuck her wouldn’t dare do shit like this.

    “Instead of looking for men I was necessarily attracted to, I looked for men who seemed especially wholesome.”

    She accepted that the men who she’ll be attracted to would not necessarily be attracted to her due to her very average, generic looks.

    She instead looked for men on her level or below her level. The “wholesome guys.”

  • Joey

    At the same time men are being told it is wrong and sexist to open doors and pull out chairs, this type of thing is promoted. As a male I don’t know what to think any more when it comes to treating ladies right.

    • Bill Brasky

      Serious suggestion: Stop treating them right and see what happens. You might be surprised to find that what they like and what they say they like are different.

    • El Payaso

      Stop trying to treat ladies “right”. Treat YOURSELF right. Be selfish. Stop trying to be captain save a ho. Don’t white knight women. If you put up a request on Tinder for a woman to come wash all your dishes or do your laundry, they would all laugh at you and rightfully so.

      Therefore, the next time you see a woman asking for a favor, you laugh to yourself and walk away. Women are never attracted to a man who bends over for them. They are only attracted to men who stand up for themselves.

  • lowborn

    You’re a horrible person.

    • flailer

      And she gets PAID to be a horrible person: to MEN!!! And feminist say men are Sexist. Hypocrites to the very core.

  • Andrew Peck

    Wholesome? Nope. Gullible, YES.

  • yoyoyo

    “He told me he was looking for a woman who could also be his best friend. Sigh. And then, after exchanging messages for about an hour, he told me he’d come over and shovel that weekend.”

    You’re a bitch. 27? You look like your nearing your late 30’s. You won’t be getting anyone to come shovel your car in 3 more years.

    • El Payaso

      Actually, she will still get someone to shovel her car in three years because she will tie down some beta schmuck when she’s hitting her wall who will expend all his resources on her, both financially and physically.

  • Maurice Adelmon

    The sex appeal you used to get a shovel was your currency to get a good husband and soon it will be gone.

    • Coach

      Then comes crazy cat lady days… unless she wifes up a beta… because that’s the only kind of man who would tolerate someone this morally bankrupt

      • Son of Efreet

        Of course she will wife up a beta. She’s already demonstrated that she enjoys manipulating weak men. The poor guy: secretly she’ll hate him.

  • Sam

    Where are these dudes getting the idea that she’s somehow manipulating people? Her tinder ad literally states “just please shovel out my car”. She’s not promising companionship of any sort, or even implying it.

    • Mike

      Subtext, baby. She could have used Craigslist, but most people don’t end up hooking up over craigslist connections, do they? Using the phrase “no strings attached” is also subtly sexual. These were thirsty men hoping for sex because that is what tinder is for.

      • Sam

        I don’t buy it. Just because Tinder is a dating app doesn’t mean there are no other possible uses for it. Lots of people using it aren’t interested in hookups anyway.

        She was quite clear with what she wanted, and when she said “no strings attached”, it meant she WASN’T going to date or fuck these guys.

        If “thirsty” men are expecting sex from someone who is explicitly not offering sex, that’s messed up, and they need to work on their own approaches to human interaction instead of blaming her.

        • Mike

          People expect an exchange in these types of situations, it’s called a trade. They expect something in return for their work. Tinder is an app used by men for sex and companionship. Women use it for sex also, but mostly they use it for attention and validation. Maybe these men knew that sex was a farfetched trade for their service, but if they were desperate enough, who knows? Maybe this interaction doesn’t pay off immediately in sex, but maybe it turns into a friendship that evolves into something more? A thirsty or lonely man will do crazy things for the slimmest chance of sex or love. Just look at those frustrated chumps in the “friend zone” who hang around women for YEARS hoping the friendship will lead to something more. This woman knows that and took full advantage. If these men truly understood they would get nothing but a sore back from this interaction, none of them would have done it.

          • Sam

            It seems like that first guy was legit; he wanted to do it to be chivalrous or whatever. Which isn’t a reason I would do it, but more power to him if that’s what he likes.

            People are not entitled to expect a trade of sex or anything else when the ad is explicitly no-strings-attached shoveling. And she did buy them scones or something. That’s a trade; it’s just not the sex they were “thirsty” enough to seek through this arrangement. There are thousands of other tinder profiles of women stating they’re looking for companionship for these guys to contact if that’s what they want.

            The narrative of this conniving woman intentionally seeking desperate men to string along doesn’t make any sense in my view. It sounds to me like she was mostly seeking guys like the first one, who’d just do it for their own gratification without expecting sex.

            Doing favors for people in the unstated hopes that they’ll have sex with you is not actually a good way to get sex.

          • Mike

            “Doing favors for people in the unstated hopes that they’ll have sex with you is not actually a good way to get sex.”

            I agree. It’s desperate and farfetched. My main argument though is that she knew exactly what she was doing. She has lived her whole life with men doing stuff for her because she has a vagina.

            This comes down to a viewpoint in which I think we differ. Why do men do things for women that they wouldn’t do for men? I think its biological. Men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide, IOW, fuck any girl they find attractive. The male sex drive is relentless and honestly a terrible thing to live with at times. Although it is not a popular outlook, I believe men do these things for women because they are subconsciously hoping it will win the ladies favor and they will get laid for it. It’s not logical, it’s biological. She is clearly taking advantage of that in this article.

          • Sam

            “Men are programmed to spread their seed far and wide”

            That sounds like justification for problematic behavior. If men get mad and beat each other up, we don’t go “well, you know, men are biologically programmed to compete/be aggressive/etc.” We expect them to behave in a civil manner, and rightfully so.

            “I believe men do these things for women because they are subconsciously
            hoping it will win the ladies favor and they will get laid for it.”

            I agree, but I think that’s problematic. And there are lots of guys who DON’T behave that way, so it’s clearly not some kind of irresistible biological urge that they are helpless against. Hell, there are lots of guys who used to behave that way and figured out how to stop. I probably would have done things like that when I was young and desperate, but only because I didn’t know how to interact with women like human beings.

            I think part of the issue is that we make excuses for them instead of trying to teach them modes of interaction which are both more respectful to women AND more effective in getting sex.

          • Mike

            Plain and simple, she took advantage of desperate men looking for sex and companionship to get her car shoveled out. That’s all this is.

          • Coach

            No it sounds like what really is in the natural world

    • ThePar

      tl;dr: Tinder’s main theme (utility) is dating, even if it is one-night stand hookups, not submissive cuckold stuff.

      It is scandalous to appeal to that community of hopeful singles for manual labor.

      However, say, Craigslist Casual Encounters might be viable. Some old cuckold may love to slave away at shoveling before being rejected- and that isn’t sad or upsetting because it isn’t from Tinder’s repository of hopeful single.

      But in reality, Craigslist help-wanted, facebook, twitter, or literally anywhere OTHER THAN DATING sites are appropriate for this. Posting in this forum is scandalous, manipulative, and sad- both for the author and the betas who feel the gravity.

    • flailer

      You are BLIND to the FACT that Tinder is TOTALLY a hook-up app. duh! As stated, she could have used craigslist …. but NOT under the casual hook-ups section!!! Are you starting to get it yet??? She is a USER and ABUSER, and then DISCARDS the males.
      She is PROOF that you can NEVER fully trust a woman.

    • xam

      Why is she doing this on a hookup app instead of Facebook ?

  • ThePar

    I wish every woman would do this for her dating profile.
    “First date will consist of you performing some menial, daunting chore for me. During which time, I will chat and get to know you while you serve me. Either way, you leave afterward and maybe I’ll call you again.”

    It would:
    – Let the juicehead feigns show off and put those muscles to good use.
    – Provide plenty of strenuous heartbreak for the high-hopes beta orbiters. Teaches them to recognize narcissism AND without the devastating, life-shattering commitment.
    – Be a special announcement to every decent, reasonable guy out there who knows to stay the f’k away. (And probably block that Tinder account for future protection.)
    – Give the Redpiller’s a good laugh at seeing a “Shit Test” openly on Tinder like this. I’m not even TRP and this is both funny and sad.

    • Coach

      -And would let me know who to avoid in the first place

      • ThePar

        Yep, bullet point #3.
        Special announcement: stay the f’k away from this one.

  • Realest

    She’s not manipulating anyone. Lets be real here. All it said was shovel out my car, no strings attached. Takes a desperate guy to do it expecting she will fall in love with him or something, this isn’t disney. Open your bloody eyes and snap back to reality.

    • V

      True.
      But this does prove that women got it easy.

      • nori

        Sorry but women have been oppressed for thousands of years and frequently killed under the law for adultery while men didn’t even get a little fine. Women just got the right to vote in the US not even 100 years ago and there have been no female presidents. I think shoveling a car is a small thing to ask. Although she was kind of an antifeminist and I disagree with the author. But women don’t have it easy.

        • http://www.fracasandoqueesgerundio.wordpress.com/ Victor

          Wow, in which history? Try to study a bit, to learn all the ways a man could be killed, destroyed, used and wasted. They were f*cked because the past was dangerous. Don’t use the victim card… it is the only thing you have.

        • fromaway05

          No female presidents and she is entitled to free labor? What a reach. She has suffered none of the things on your list of past experiences. Another finger snapping city dweller with the right plumbing.

    • Newton Throwaway

      Let’s be real here. If all she’s looking for is someone to shovel out her car, why does she have any ‘standards’ and ‘deal breakers’ other than arm strength (and wanting to do it, of course)?

      Maybe you should read the whole article and snap back to reality yourself. It’s not the expectations that are the issue, it’s how she views them.

    • flailer

      Or, better said: It takes a TOTAL IDIOT to do this (shoveling for her.) Particularly because of cultural norms to Blame, Shame, & Hate Men. Women: Put your “Big Girl Panties On” and get to F’n work!!!!

    • xam

      Why did she think that he would do it ?

  • Markus Rose

    A perfect example of a feminist chauvinist pig in action, feeling entitled to something for nothing.

  • Coach

    If you didn’t pay these men… then what you did was basically prostitution. Congratulations… you’re an official whore :)

  • Coach

    “So long as he kept digging, at least it wasn’t a total waste of my time” Welcome to an understanding of how feminism has destroyed our culture….

  • flailer

    Woman using Men as Utilities…… USING MEN. Why didn’t you put on your high-heels and do it “better than a man” ? We know you can! Point in FACT: The in-group gender-bias, & out-group abuse of men (sexism) by feminists (particularly the females) is GLARING. and because of this, MGTOW is the only rational choice Men have today.

  • http://www.lulzsalad.com lolknee .

    Women are the most protected and privileged class in the world. smh.

  • Mat2580

    I can shovel her car if she can come over, iron my clothes and make me a sandwich

  • NightRider101

    men today are so pathetic and desperate. hahahahahaha Wow just so speechless.

  • Jesse White

    Wow what a horrible person! You suck lady

  • Amon Goethenegger

    Beta schlubs.

  • Miri <3

    For Christ’s SAKE, guys! She was just asking to get her car shoveled out, she made it clear that was all, no strings attached! She asked on Tinder because she needed a guy to do it, because guys are physically better capable of shoveling snow, and they knew what they were going in for! She got her car shoveled, they got some hot drinks and snacks and an hour of conversation on a boring day, the end, everybody lived happily after; exactly WHAT do you find so feminist chauvinistic and manipulative about this?! It was a free and open exchange of goods! It’s adding more benefit to this society than any of YOU ever have by adding nasty comments to random blog posts! Get a life!

    • KSMBT4ever

      So, you are completely fine with prostitution right?
      After all, in many cases it’s just an exchange of goods, right?

    • unapologetictruth

      No one is fooled by you conveniently missing the bigger picture and the truth so I’m not sure why you would even bothered trying.

  • ten

    Wow! Talk about laziness. She should have just grabbed the shovel and started shoveling instead of swiping.

  • unapologetictruth

    Mgtow!

  • Meisha Flemmins

    My only qualm with this article is that she failed to nail Ted for a second request to shovel.