It's the Thought That Counts

What they want...
Porsche 911 Carrera 4, $81,700 and up, Herb Chambers Porsche

Why they want it...
1. Brand cachet.
Substitute: Stainless steel Porsche key ring, $240, Porsche Design Store
2. Midlife crisis.
Substitute: Escort service, $200–$250 per hour, Midnight Express 
3. To feel the wind in their hair.
Substitute: Zephair desk fan, $315, Wolfers Lighting

What they want...
Trip to the Turks and Caicos: roundtrip airfare for two, $1,250, American Airlines; five-night hotel stay, $3,875–$55,000, Parrot Cay Resort and Spa

Why they want it...
1. Vitamin A deprivation.
Substitute: Westpointe full-spectrum floor lamp, $55, Economy Hardware
2. That pasty feeling.
Substitute: Body bronzing with exfoliation, $115, Grettacole
3. Hunger for spicy flavors.
Substitute: Dinner, $15 and up, Merengue Caribbean restaurant

What they want...
Courtside season tickets to the Celtics, $43,000 for two seats, nba.com/celtics

Why they want it...
1. Fascination with the cheerleader "choreography."
Substitute: Dance lessons, $5–$14, Dance Complex
2. Desire to see every bead of sweat on Pierce's face.
Substitute: Pioneer Elite 50-inch high-definition TV, $5,000, Best Buy 
3. Dreams of postgame mingling with players.
Substitute: VIP table service, $300–$1,200, Saint

What they want...
New Mac Pro, $2,800 and up, Apple Store

Why they want it...
1. Addiction to the video game Drop Point: Alaska.
Substitute: Standard Hammerhead sled, $349, REI
2. Yen for those hipster-intellectual warm fuzzies.
Substitute: Ex Libris Anonymous journals made from vintage books, $15.75 each, Magpie
3. Shortage of space to store photo collection.
Substitute: Kartell Mobil storage system, $1,100 for three shelves, Bliss Home