A Dirty Dancing Remake in the Berkshires?

To be clear: I’m not on board with the Dirty Dancing remake. Lionsgate announced Monday that it would reboot the 1987 oh-so-cheesy classic and named Kenny Ortega — choreographer of the original — as director. Many fans took to Twitter to express disgust, but @JenniferGrey cheered the decision:

I love @Kennyortega and trust that he will do something special #DirtyDancingRemake.

You may also know Ortega as the director of the “High School Musical” trilogy, which strikes fear in my Patrick Swayze-loving heart. Imagine Zac Efron as Johnny and Ashley Tisdale as Baby, overacting their way through “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.” Shudder.

However, if we’ve learned anything from Hollywood, no amount of protest will stop the celluloid steamroller and the ridiculous remakes (see: Fame, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Alfie, Footloose, et al.). Can’t beat ’em, so let’s join ’em. Bring the crew to Massachusetts and film “D-Squared 2012” in the Berkshires at the Cranwell Resort (new tax revenue! job creation!). There’s nightly entertainment as well at the nearby Housatonic River for practicing lifts. And, prolonging the fantasy, let’s cast Justin Timberlake and Emma Stone in the starring rolls.

Call me, Ortega — I’ve got ideas.