Former Miss Universe Off to Enjoy Life with Nick Jonas
If you felt the earth tremble with something portentous this weekend, fear not; it was likely just ownership of the universe being transferred from one looksome lady to the next. Yes, Donald Trump’s audaciously-named Miss Universe pageant concluded this weekend, which means that Olivia Culpo, who was enrolled at Boston University before ascending to power this past year, has given up her title to a new winner, Miss Venezuela. (The outer planets were excluded from this year’s competition once again. Rude.)
Before you go pitying the fate of a woman who once reigned over the galaxies, the stars, and the moons, know that Culpo seems excited to come back down to earth and take on a more private life. Ha ha, just kidding she’s dating Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers, and the two of them are excited for their next phase, which almost necessarily won’t play out in private. “To the very special person who puts a smile on my face every day,” Culpo said in a message that played while she took her final walk as the reigning Miss Universe, “I can’t wait to start this new chapter with you.” (She echoed that quote on her Twitter feed along with a photo of Jonas before the show.) Meanwhile, Jonas posted a photo of himself to Instagram staring at a huge billboard sized version of Culpo, with the caption borrowed from a Drake lyrics: “I got my eyes on you. You’re everything that I see.”
From B.U. to Drake-quoting Jonas brother lover. These are the metamorphoses that make up the American dream in 2013, probably. What a difference a year makes. Maybe that’s why this year’s Miss U.S.A., Erin Brady, decided to represent us in the (always absurd) Costume Show portion of the competition by dressing as what we can only assume is a Transformer. What celebrity-dating sports car might she have become had she won the title? We shall never know.