Watch Conan Stage Boston’s Super Bowl Riot That Wasn’t

'I gotta destroy something!'

Boston has a history of taking victory celebrations a bit too far, but this year, the people of our fair city reacted almost too peacefully after the Patriots’ great Super Bowl win. And Conan O’Brien is specifically upset about it.

“I was happy the Patriots won the Super Bowl yesterday,” Conan said on his Monday night show. “But my hometown of Boston let me down. They did not riot. No looting, no cop cars set on fire, nothing. It’s Boston, people are supposed to go crazy! Absolutely nothing. I’m embarrassed for Boston. It’s pathetic.”

So Conan decided he was going to make up for it himself by staging his own Boston riot in his late-night show’s studio. The crowd cheered him on as he green-screened a crowd of people, and ran around his stage screaming things like:

“I need some rocket fuel!” (And took a swig of whiskey.)

“I gotta destroy something!” (And swung a bat at Andy Richter’s podium.)

“I need to vandalize a local business!” (And threw a trash can through a fake window of ‘Chowder House.’)

“I need to flip over a cop car!” (And set a fake cop car on fire.)

Conan knows us too well.