The Red Sox Get Punny

After Theo Epstein traded Manny Ramirez (having fun yet, Joe?), we wondered what vision the Red Sox GM has for the team. It seems that the Boy Wonder’s strategy is to fill the roster with as many pun-friendly names as possible.

The Sox acquired pitcher Paul Byrd and promoted Charlie Zink from Pawtucket, and the punny headlines came fast and furious. After the jump, we review the present and past players who made headline writer’s lives that much easier.

Paul Byrd
The Herald went with the simple “Paul Byrd flies in at right time“, while the Globe used the preachy “Sox have Byrd in hand.” We expect to see headlines like “Free Byrd” when he does well, and “Byrd goes back to the nest” when he gets shelled.

Charlie Zink
The promoted pitcher holds potential not for puns, but for rhymes. The Herald brilliantly captures this with its “Red Sox swim, not Zink” headline for last night’s epic game. He’ll get the effete “Zink in the Pink” treatment when he performs well, but with rhymes like “stink” and “blink”, his name holds much danger. There’s even the Harriet the Spy-esque “Zink the Fink” if he goes to the Yankees.

Jason Bay
He lives in Massachusetts! Which is the Bay State! It’s hilarious! (You can also check out an illustrated guide to Bay-related puns here.)

Manny Being ____
This construction became just as tired as any pun. Thankfully, much like the player himself, this is Los Angeles’ problem now.

Photo from MLB.com