Ted Kennedy To Save the DNC?

Come on. Like you thought for one minute that Ted Kennedy wasn’t going to show up at the Democratic National Convention. Both papers reported this morning that the Liberal Lion was hoping to make an appearance in Denver, and Kennedy’s staff confirms that the senior senator is in the Mile-High City right now.

It became clear that the convention needed Kennedy back in July when reports of cost overruns and a ridiculously demanding menu surfaced. But if the early reports out of Denver are any indication, he has a lot of people to straighten out.

Starting with the Clintons.

Politico reports that relations between supporters of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are tense. Anonymous Obama supporters liken Clinton to “Japanese soldiers in the South Pacific still fighting after the war is over,” while the Hillary’s fans complain that Obama hasn’t done enough to reach out to them.

To make matters worse, Bill Clinton is acting like more of a diva than Naomi Campbell. The former president is pouting because he wants to discuss economic issues, but is scheduled to talk about national security. Republican nominee John McCain is taking full advantage of the infighting, running ads that aim to woo bitter Clinton supporters and raise doubts about Obama.

To borrow a phrase from the outgoing Commander in Chief, the Democrats need a uniter, not a divider. Kennedy can fill that role. He’s endorsed Obama, but has a long history with the Clintons. And he’ll take the stage after a Ken Burns-directed tribute to his legacy, which should soften the hearts of everyone in the room.

If he can’t use logic to convince both camps to get along for the good of the party, we imagine Ted will show the scar he got when surgeons removed his tumor back in June and remind the bickering factions that he’s an old, sick man who would rather not watch another Republican be inaugurated in January. Whatever it takes, Senator. Whatever it takes.

Image from Senator Kennedy’s website