Mini-masochist: The Booty Pop
I’ve been having a hard time lately—as anyone who’s seen me around town in the same outfit again and again can attest to—and, as a result, have lost quite a bit of weight. Now, avid readers of Bostonista know we’re typically open to healthy diets, but there’s nothing flattering about baggy jeans and sagging dresses. Fortunately, my fellow editors always look out for me (and my occasional fashion hiccup) and quickly came to the rescue with the newest way to add a little junk back into your trunk.
The brainchild of Newton-based entrepreneur Susan Bloomstone, it’s called the Booty Pop (yes, really) and consists of underwear reinforced with two 1-inch-thick malleable posterior pads. Basically, a padded bra for your butt.
I choose a versatile black pair—the BP also comes in green, yellow, pink, white, and turquoise—and am pleased to find they’re cut like boyshorts. I slip them on under a slim-fit pair of J Brand jeans. At first feel, this is just the lift I’ve been looking for. My backside is suddenly channeling J. Lo. and Beyonce; I’m definitely bootylicious as I model the outfit for friends in my apartment.
The true test, however, comes Monday at work, when I pair my empowering undies with a formerly fitted red mini dress. And… no one notices. I take a spin by a few male coworkers and ask if I look different. Not really, they say. I invite them to poke the pads—just for fun—which they do with extreme trepidation.
Female colleagues find the BPs more amusing and are ready with constructive criticism. “The pads look a little misshapen,” says one. “Weirdly perky,” adds another. “I think they may be too small for you.” I find myself adopting an awkward shoulders-forward-rear-back posture, hoping to elicit some cats calls or, at the very least, a chaste version of “great ass.” Nada.
By day’s end, my supple new undies seem more skimpy diaper than dapper accoutrement. I resolve to buy a bigger size and stick to wearing them with jeans. Or, I could take the suggestion of savvy Bostonista Donna Garlough:
“You can wrap them around your head and use them as a travel pillow!”
Booty Pop, $26, Holiday, 53 Charles St., Boston, 617-973-9730, holidayboutique.net.