Fashion Victim Smurf

1206977601Back when it was perfectly acceptable for a kid to spend hours in front of the television, I was an incredibly dedicated Smurfs devotee. Why it took the Hanna-Barbera people 17 years after the show went off the air to issue The Smurfs, Season One, on DVD, I can’t imagine. Anyway, I bought it, and the daily lives of Papa, Brainy, Vanity, Jokey, et. al. are as compelling as I remembered.

One Saturday morning and a few bowls of Froot Loops later, I am totally brainsmurfed. I’ve never been one to fall for a trend I see on TV or in the movies — in fact, as far as I’m concerned, once Rachel Bilson makes an appearance in anything, it’s pretty much jumped the shark. And yet, how else to explain this weekend’s extravagant, and eerily Smurf-like, purchase?

The platform slingback Jimmy Choo heels I took home from Gretta Luxe yesterday measure in at 4″ tall (about the height of a Smurf), and are a Smurfy shade of royal blue. These shoes are completely fantastical — not unlike Smurfs. Also like the Smurfs, they may remain a well-kept secret.

1206977617Though cheery (and, I think, truly flattering), they’re too wild to be even close to versatile, too suede to consider if there’s even the slightest chance of rain, and, quite possibly, too tall to safely wear outside of the house. Yet somehow, one spin around the store and I was sure life would be so much Smurfier if I owned these shoes.

It gets worse. Just the day before, I’d gotten my first manicure in months (clearly this was self-indulgent weekend). The color? Chanel Blue Satin. “Great Smurf,” I thought to myself as I hurried out of the store before the salesgirls noticed my digits, then headed back home to the mushroom in my tiny blue VW.