A Cautionary Exfoliatory Tale

Recently, in the name of service journalism, we lifted our self-tanner ban to test faux-glows. At first we worried that, because this story has been done maybe once or twice before, we might be flat out of incisive tanning insights.

But we were wrong!

We learned so much from our self-bronzing odyssey, in fact, that we had enough info to create a special web preview. (To find out our favorite lotions, you’ll have to wait for the next Weddings issue.)

Without further ado, we present…Bostonista‘s Favorite Self-Tanning Accessories:

1) Philosophy Never Let Them See You Shine facial scrub: Nice whipped texture and cooling sensation; same cute packaging we always appreciate from Philosophy. Perfect for pre-tan exfoliation.

2) Neomycin ophthamalogic ointment: During the course of reporting, we discovered that the Philosophy scrub manufacturers are not joking when they say, “Do not put this in your eyes.” Turns out, those soft little microbeads can scratch your cornea. Turns out, treatment for said affliction involves one very gross antibiotic ointment that must be “massaged” (doctor’s phrase) directly into your eye.

3) Kate Spade readers: Contacts were out for a week. Luckily, glasses are in. Like, really in! And we enjoy our own pair, mostly because we enjoy bragging about our budget-friendly trick: We bought Kate Spade reading glasses (at $75, definitely steep for readers, but a steal for real frames) and swapped out the lenses with our prescription.

Lesson (re-)learned: The entire self-bronzing process requires extreme care and patience. If you don’t possess sufficient reserves of both, you’ll wind up orange…or blind.