WTF: Grammys Fashion

We admit it: We didn’t actually watch the Grammys last night. (We’re saving up our immunity to long-winded acceptance speeches for the Academy Awards.) It’s not the show itself we care about, anyway; it’s the fashion that’s fun, or at least it usually is. But between awful, the snoozeworthy, and the downright insane, we had to wonder: When did the Grammys become the Night of the Fashion Don’ts?

Take the most obvious example: Lady Gaga, or as we’re henceforth going to call her, the Incredible Edible Gag. She showed up encased in a semitransparent egg, carried on a litter like some sort of empress of the Holy Breakfast Empire. Our thoughts? Gaga is taking her wackadoo fashion to an unnecessary ? and annoying ? extreme. (Seriously, how pissed would you be if you got stuck on the red carpet behind that slow-moving train?) Then there was Rihanna, whose white-on-clear gown was like the love child of Santa and a slutty sea anemone. Glee’s Dianna Agron is lovely, but despite edgy hair and makeup paired with an all-black ensemble she managed to look exactly as Barbie doll (read: stiff) and ladylike as she has at every other awards show. And we still aren’t sure what was more disturbing about Katy Perry’s look ? that she came dressed in a bedazzled sports bra trailing a shower curtain, or that the fluffy wings on her back were actually made by Armani.

Everything else was more or less predictable. The Bieb wore sneakers, J. Lo wore hair extensions, Adam Lambert wore lots of eyeliner, and we had to Wikipedia every third person on the red carpet (and then wonder why they were out so late on a school night). If awards ceremony fashion were food, the Grammys would be a combo from Mickey D’s. Here’s hoping February 27 will be more of a three-course meal.