Just Like at the Movies, Silence is Golden

Poor Howie Carr. It’s been rough for him lately. He’s getting beaten up for his less-than-no-effort columns while simultaneously being pummeled by the court.

For those who haven’t been paying attention, a Suffolk Superior Court judge’s ruling has prevented Carr from making the leap from WRKO to WTKK (where, reportedly, a $7 million contract awaits). Obviously, this isn’t sitting well with Carr.

According to the Herald, he’s now asking the judge to “reconsider” the ruling. I didn’t know you could do that. You think Carr said, “pretty please?”

Carr’s attorneys have filed an emergency motion for reconsideration. The motion says Carr is following rules laid out in the judge’s memo and hasn’t begun to work for another employer even though his agreement with the Entercom Communications-owned WRKO ended Sept. 19.

In a memo issued last week, Judge Allan van Gestel said the provision in Carr’s WRKO contract that gives the station the right to match a competitor’s salary is valid. However, the judge said, the noncompete clause in the contract is illegal. Van Gestel hasn’t ruled on whether Carr is compelled to stay at WRKO. But WRKO says that because it matched WTKK’s offer, Carr works for them until 2012.

Couple of things here. First, if Carr isn’t allowed to work for TKK, what happens to the $7 million that parent company Greater Media has already allocated? Since they’ve decided to shell out the money anyway, let me make a suggestion: Give it to the poor. Specifically: me.

Second, how fantastic is this limbo? In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter from which station Carr broadcasts his lazy, often offensive garbage. The people who listen to his show don’t care. They’ll tune in if he’s on TKK or RKO, in the morning or during the afternoon drive — just so long as it doesn’t prevent them from dating their relatives or protecting the Commonwealth’s borders from the flood of illegals preparing to invade from Canada.

Ah, but for the rest of us who don’t delight in being subjected to his on-air idiocy, this radio blackout has been a little something I like to call awesome. For people who like talk radio, we’re now treated to not one, but two major stations without Howie the Horrible.

No “whiner line.” No “immigrant update,” or whatever it is he calls the fascist segment that details the missteps of people with Hispanic last names. No ranting about liberal “moonbats.” Just pure, uninterrupted silence.

So I’d like to make a plea to Judge van Gestel as well — don’t take another look at the case. Keep Howie right where he is.

It may be purgatory for him, but it’s heaven for us.