More Fun With Frivolous Lawsuits

Sports and threatened litigation. That’s what we’ve got today, and what better way to tie it all together than with a little sports litigation?

If you are not familiar with the legal career of one Jonathan Lee Riches, then you are missing out on one of our nation’s most sophisticated legal minds this side of Alberto Gonzalez. Fresh off a $63 billion suit against Michael Vick (which alleged that Vick stole Riches’ dogs, sold them on eBay, and used the money to buy weapons for Iran), Riches is now contending a massive spying cover-up. And he names Bill Belichick, Randy Moss and Tom Brady. It gets better.

Via Deadspin and the awesome Smoking Gun, Riches’ hand-written lawsuit claims that:

Belichick has bugged the home of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and that, before the 2005 Super Bowl, Brady placed a listening device “in Donovan McNabb’s Chunky Soup. He ate it.” Oh, and Belichick also allegedly surveilled the home of New York Jets quarterback Chad Pennington. And Brady and Moss planted a Radio Shack recording device on San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawn Merriman’s sleeve so that Belichick could hear the opponent’s defensive play calls during a September 16 game.

It’s all pretty hilarious and one of only 36 federal complaints Riches has filed in September. He is seeking $5 million in damages from the Pats, which seems a little low, frankly.