Stay Classy, Yankee Fans
Dear Yankees Fans,
We know we don’t write you very often. Let’s be honest, here. Our relationship has been strained for a long time. We’re partially to blame for that. And what we’re about to write is going to sound pretty funny coming from us, but we hope you’ll hear us out.
It’s only baseball. There’s no need to beat someone to a bloody pulp over it.
It’s not that we don’t understand how you feel. Sure, we think you’re a bunch of entitled jerks with several cheaters on your team, but you’ve had a bad season by your standards. We won the division for the first time since 1995. Your first playoff game was pretty pathetic. But that anguish should be aimed at the players on your team, not at some guy watching a game at a hotel bar in Yonkers.
Who knows? Maybe the Sox fan opened his mouth and said something stupid. Not all Sox fans are intelligent (as we know) but that’s no reason to beat him so savagely he can’t open his mouth. Yell a few unintelligible curse words at him, declare your love for Derek Jeter, and move along.
Enjoy the rest of the Division Series. It might be all you have left. Maybe we’ll see each other again in the ALCS. Until then, try not to assault anyone.