A Letter to the Rest of America from Boston Daily
Hi. Boston Daily here. We’ve been pretty busy lately, what with our football team going from city to city on their national tour of ass-kicking and our baseball team winning the World Series for the second time in four years. But now that we’ve had time to sleep and purchase our 2007 championship gear, we wanted to gloat a little.
It seems that you don’t care about us anymore. You didn’t watch our boys sweep the Colorado Rockies. Your newspapers didn’t give the Sox the front page treatment they got in 2004. Sure, you were all over us after we went 86 years without a championship, but now we’re below-the-fold news?
We’re not going to be your lovable group of losers anymore, America. Despite that, we’re still worthy of coverage.
Jacoby Ellsbury is hot, both in the baseball and aesthetic meanings of the word. Josh Beckett should make your team crap themselves in fear. Jon Lester and Mike Lowell beat cancer. If you want a redemption arc, hope the Chicago Cubs make a run for the championship next year. But they’ll have to go through us first.
While you talk about wildfires in California and Britney Spears’ new album, we’ll be cheering our conquering heroes as they parade through the streets this afternoon. If you want to read about it, check us out later. If we haven’t been scooped on an amphibious vehicle by Jonathan Papelbon to be a partner in his merry jig, that is.