They Like Him, They Really Like Him

Mitt Romney is like our insecure second-grade boyfriend. After sending us a note asking if we liked him and we said yes, he smothered us. He passed another note during silent reading. He made a grab for our hand at the lunch table. Finally, we got so sick of it that we dumped him by the seesaw.

Don’t make us dump you by the seesaw, Mitt.

Instead of looking for our approval, Mitt has spent almost $1 million to make sure voters like what he’s saying by conducting extensive polling.

“He’s keeping an eye on those conservatives that he’s been wooing,” said Bridgewater State College political science professor Dr. George Serra. “He’s being very methodical in his collecting of information, and money helps.”

Don’t conservatives get tired of being interrupted by pollsters all the time? It seems like the phones of registered Republicans in the early primary states must never stop ringing.

Maybe the Romney campaign can take a break from its heavy polling now that the former governor has been endorsed by Paul Weyrich, the founding president of conservative think tank the Heritage Foundation, and co-founder of the Moral Majority.

“As he travels across the country, Governor Romney has outlined a blueprint to build a stronger America rooted in our common conservative principles. With a clear conservative vision to move America forward, he will strengthen our economy, our military and our families. More importantly, he already has an exceptional record of putting conservative values to work. Because of his experience, vision and values, I am proud to support Governor Romney,” said Paul Weyrich.

Weyrich’s endorsement should help alleviate the concerns other influential conservatives have about Romney, which could bring further endorsements, and the values voters that come with them.

See Mitt? They like you. Stop being so clingy.