The Herald Brings It

If the Boston Herald is in mourning over the imminent departure of crime-and-cops reporter Michele McPhee, they aren’t showing it. Today’s edition is full of the sensationalist headlines, amazing Photoshop art, and tear-jerking stories we love so much. If you were waiting for your free bus copy to read on your way home this evening, read no further because we’ve got to, um, herald its work.

The fun begins on the cover, with Mitt Romney’s angry face set next to several screaming headlines. NO TIME FOR CRIME. 15 MINUTES OF SHAME. The art department also gets to play with the news that Mitt spent the same amount of time interviewing a superior court nominee as he spent at a photo-op with a soldier by creating a graphic that replicates Romney’s daily planner. We can only hope the daily eventually digs up a page from the candidate’s personal journal to use a very scripty font.

The fun with Romney doesn’t end with his whirlwind interview of Kathe Tuttman. Jessica Van Sack’s criticism of Romney’s speech bears the headline “I’m a Mormon: Take it or leave it, Romney says” That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?

The headline “MBTA SEEKING SUBWAY SICKO” is delightful. But just as we’re adopting Subway Sicko as the name of the perv groping teenagers on the Green Line, we tear up at the news that somebody stole a decorative sleigh from an old man’s yard.

The Grinch stole more than just Christmas from a Worcester widower whose decorative sleigh went missing Monday night.

The sheet-metal sleigh was the last gift Vincent J. Gianfriddo Sr. received from his late daughter, Linda Chase.

“I was crazy about it . . . It’s only a material thing, but my daughter,” he said, trailing off. “That hurts more than anything.”

We thought the Globe would win the award for emotionally manipulating us this week, but we underestimated the Herald. Silly us. Just as the tears start to flow, we flip back to the cover and see Romney’s giant head on the cover and feel better. Thanks for making our Friday, guys.