Fun in Michigan (for Us at Least)

1200084084Today’s Michigan primary is huge for Mitt Romney. That’s what everyone keeps telling us.

But I’m not so sure. After the shakeup in New Hampshire, I’m not putting it past any candidate to re-stamp his/her expiration date. And I certainly wouldn’t put it past Romney — a man whose fondness for exhausting his personal fortune in order to sustain his self-fellating candidacy has been well-documented. Romney has even said that a loss in Michigan wouldn’t make him drop out of the race.

Still, the latest Zogby poll (we know, we know) shows Arizona Sen. John McCain with a tiny lead in today’s race. Perhaps voters in Michigan will send a signal to the rest of America that Romney’s act has officially grown tired.

To wit: If you missed Romney’s speech to the Detroit Economic Club yesterday, it was truly something. Even by Romney’s standards, it was a fantastic example of blatant, shameless pandering. While McCain is going around Michigan telling everyone that they’re screwed and the auto industry jobs aren’t coming back, Romney is saying that Detroit will rise again to once more become the center of the car-making universe.

But the genius, as always, lies in the language Romney employs when whoring himself:

“If I’m elected as President of this great land, I will not need a compass to tell me where Michigan is.

“And I won’t need to be briefed on what’s going on in the auto industry or what’s happening to Michigan’s economy. You see, I’ve got Michigan in my DNA. I’ve got it in my heart and I’ve got cars in my bloodstream.”

Mitt: Just…stop.

As Dave Wedge notes in today’s Herald, some prominent people in Michigan have grown weary of Romney’s bullshit, and they’re responding by either failing to donate to his campaign or, worse, outright endorsing McCain.

Here at Boston Daily HQ, it’s sort of a catch-22 for us: Every time Romney opens his mouth, we run the risk of a brain aneurysm. And yet, we’re all stricken with fear about what we’ll do if he loses and we don’t have him to kick around anymore.

On that note, our picks for today’s primary:


Romney, McCain, Huckabee, Henry Ford


McCain, Romney, Huckabee, Giuliani


Romney, McCain, Huckabee, Jimmy Hoffa


Romney, McCain, Huckabee, Seamus the Dog


McCain, Huckabee, Mitt Romney, George Romney