We’re Looking For a Hero

1201208237The presidential primaries of 2008 will be remembered for two things—the incredibly close races in both parties and the importance of action star endorsements. The Mike HuckabeeChuck Norris parallel has been well-documented. Ron Paul has pro wrestler Kane in his corner. Earlier today news came out that Rambo Sylvester Stallone has endorsed John McCain.

We don’t want the other candidates to feel left out, so we’ve got some action stars and comic book heroes in mind for candidates in both parties.

Rudy Giuliani: Captain America
1201207631 Decked out in a costume that’s inspired by the good old Stars and Stripes, Captain America has wrapped himself in the flag almost as much as America’s Mayor. Captain America punched Adolf Hitler in the jaw long before the United States entered the war, and we’re sure Rudy would love to get a few hits on Osama Bin Laden.

Mitt Romney: Plastic Man
1201207662 Yeah, we didn’t know much about Plastic Man either. But after reading all about him in Wikipedia, we know these two were meant for each other.

Plastic Man can stretch his body into any imaginable form.

[Creator Jack Cole’s] art was striking for its bright, cartoony quality, with Plastic Man stretching across panels, going around the corner and up the street, wisecracking all the way.

And he was celebrated for his ability to contort. Somewhere, Romney’s burning with jealousy.

Barack Obama: The Rock
1201207691 We can smell what the Rock is cooking, and Obama should too. While The Rock has appeared at Republican conventions in the past, we just think his affable, everyman attitude complements Obama nicely. Also, The Rock was known as a ‘great talker’ in his wrestling days and could work a crowd with the best of them.

Hillary Clinton: Wonder Woman
1201207723 Sure, it’s a little obvious, but Wonder Woman led the way for comic book heroines everywhere, as Clinton has done for female presidential hopefuls. Wonder Woman was noted for her intelligence and her ability to fight, which we saw from Clinton in Monday night’s debate.

John Edwards: A Superhero to Be Named Later
1199913848 If anyone needs a hero, it’s the struggling Edwards. Sadly, there’s no Son of a Mill Worker Man.