The Pre-Super Bowl Ballyhoo Jumps the Orangutan

Don’t get us wrong. We like silly stories about the Patriots. We like to hear about the stupid bets between politicians. The crazy proposing reporter was cute the first time we heard about it.

But it’s late on a Friday afternoon, we’re counting down the seconds until we can get out of the office and start our weekend of drinking and snacking and we have reached our limit of stupid stories.

And this story about the a prognosticating orangutan got us here.

It’s an orangutan. In Kentucky. Does the orangutan have any history of picking the Super Bowl winner? Not that we can tell. She just picked a Patriots shirt and decided to put it on. Once the cameras stopped rolling, she probably rolled around in a pile of feces while wearing it. What does that mean for our New England Patriots?

We have been so patient. But we are done. Done. No more stupid stories. We don’t want to hear about Tom Brady’s haircuts or what our choice of jersey says about our personality. Unless Brady’s foot falls off or Eli Manning goes Cain on Peyton we don’t want to hear about football until 6 p.m. on Sunday.

Thank you.