Confetti Guy Jason and the Parade That Wasn’t


After the Red Sox won the World Series, we talked to Confetti Guy Jason about what it’s like to be an average fan in the rolling rally. We checked in with him last week to see if he’d be willing to talk about his second Patriots rally if they won. Unfortunately, we had a very different conversation with him today than we expected.

We’re happy to report that his employer won’t be added to the list of people and hoodies we’re blaming for the 18-1 season. High Output has a history of not ordering playoff-related gear until after victories. In 2004, Keyspan wanted a projection of the Red Sox logo on its tank for Game One of the World Series, but High Output didn’t order it until the Yankees had officially choked. A similar plan was in place for a potential perfect season.

“It was all ordered overnight delivery contingent on the Pats win,” Jason told us. “It would have cost our clients a metric buttload had they won with additional S&H fees, but now we just cancel the order and no one gets stuck with 50 pounds of confetti they don’t want.”

Nobody wants confetti with bad karma laying around, after all. While we’re still smarting with the pain of the present, Jason looks forward to what’s next.

“I really hope to do a Celtics parade someday. Like much of New England I lost track of the Celts for a long time, but I grew up in the Larry Bird era. I’m also tired of the red, white, and blue confetti. Green will be a nice break.”

“If the Celtics pull it off by some stretch of the imagination, I will have been in more championship parades than Tom Brady.”

Shh, Confetti Guy. You’ll jinx it!