A Red Sox Fan and His Money Are Soon Parted

1202832879Red Sox fans are known throughout the sports world as being rabbit-boiling crazy about their team. Whether we’re traveling around with the club or preparing to go without sleep for the season opener in Japan, we’re a lot like the needy girl who does everything possible to get closer to her man.

But even we realize the team’s latest moneymaking scheme is pretty transparent.

For the first time at Fenway, fans will be able to enter the visiting team’s batting cage and take swings in the same practice area used by the likes of Derek Jeter and Miguel Tejada.

All you need is at least 20 people at a minimum of $50 a head, which includes all the equipment and some food for after you’ve exhausted yourself in the visitor’s practice area.

Okay, that sounds like fun. You can swing a bat in the space that some of baseball’s greats have warmed up in. Awesome. It’s the most expensive batting cage in Boston! Catch Hit the fever!

For $50 a head, partygoers should be able to meet Derek Jeter and have the opportunity to slap his pretty, pretty face. Or, at the least, you should get a couple of beers included to increase the likelihood that one of your coworkers steps in front of a speeding baseball.

The truly good times, though, will be had when the visiting players are actually in the warm-up area.

When the Sox are at Fenway, restaurant patrons will be able to watch – free of charge – the visiting team take batting practice through that huge window in the bar[.]

Dude! We’re totally going to moon Kevin Millar the next time he’s in town.

Security will be stationed at the window. . . to prevent Red Sox fans from indulging in unseemly behavior that might disrupt the visiting batters.