Tonight, America Really Runs on Dunkin’


1204036976If you’re anything like us, the second you’re told you can’t have something, you desire nothing but that forbidden fruit. Or vegetable. During the recent spinach recall, we made like Popeye and dreamed of nothing but spinach and artichoke dip and salads.

So you can understand our sudden overwhelming need to get our hands on a Frappuccino when we heard that Starbucks is closing for three hours of barista training this evening. But we can still have our coffee needs met as Dunkin’ Donuts takes the opportunity to poach some of its competitor’s customers by offering 99 cent lattes from 1-10 p.m.

The company joins the ranks of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Ghandi by selflessly dedicating itself to keeping the coffee addicts of America functioning.

Dunkin’ Donuts wants to ensure that no coffee lover is denied a delicious espresso-based beverage.

As a member of the jittery community of hardcore coffee drinkers around the country, we will be in line at some point this afternoon to get our cheap latte. But if you can’t get the visions of a Cinnamon Dolce Latte out of your head with a Dunkin’ latte, Starbucks locations that are open past 8:30 p.m. will reopen after the employee training is over.