Attention Women: You’d Best Get to Baby-Making

During the past few days, I’ve noticed this item floating around on Boston.com and being torn to bits on Universal Hub. Since I’ve been busy with my career (interviewing Irish brewers takes a girl’s time) I didn’t take the time to completely read the article until now.

And I’m so glad I did. Now I’m informed enough to know that my fellow career girls and I are way behind in our quest to find a man before our ovaries quit on us.

If this story came out on April 1, it could have easily been dismissed as a joke.

If you are past your early twenties, and you’re single and want to have children, you need to find a partner now. Take that career drive and direct it toward mating – your ovaries will not last longer than your career.

Waiting until your midthirties to start a family, if you want to carry the babies yourself, is a risky endeavor. Which means, of course, you probably want to find a partner by the time you’re 30.

The good news is that psychology research shows you will gain more happiness anyway by finding a partner than by having a good job.

This must have picked up from The Onion, right? Right?

The thing is, there’s a difference between stating a biological fact (“There is plenty of evidence to show that the quality of your eggs takes a nose dive at age 35”) and putting your own twisted belief on what a woman should do with that fact (“Women who want to have children should make it a priority in their twenties to find a partner”).

My ovaries work for me. If they quit before I’m ready to give up on my career, I’ll find a wisecracking teenager who got knocked up by her geeky boyfriend and adopt her baby. Problem solved.