Bring in the Clemens


1204823164It was only last week when we said that we didn’t care to pay much attention to the whole Roger Clemens drama. He’s toast, he’s got Congress investigating him, whatever. But we just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

It’s been reported that the Double-A affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers offered Clemens a job. And while a minor-league pitching contract would be humiliating enough, it’s even worse than that.

The Huntsville Stars want Clemens to be a mascot. More precisely, a backup mascot.

[W]e would like to offer you the position of our team’s official secondary mascot, ‘Rocket.’ As ‘Rocket,’ you will dress as an astronaut and simply interact with fans and assist in on-field promotions during our 70-game home schedule when the primary mascot, Homer the Polecat, is not available.

What’s the pay for that gig?

In addition to your $25 per game, you will receive meal vouchers redeemable at the concession stands for one hotdog and one soft drink each night, and a 15% employee discount at our team’s souvenir store, The Backstop Shop.

It’s not the stocks and rotten tomatoes we’d hoped for, but it’s pretty damn close.